12.24.2004

 

[merry xmas!]

im too lazy to take any photos - plus the tree i have is a decidedly *mini* one that fits on my table (and therefore is easy to stow away during the other 11 months of the year, or basically any time i don't feel christmassy.. [ie never] heh)

so merry xmas and a happy new year ebdy!

not likely to be able to switch to a later flight from SIN - LHR so im still leaving dec 31 midmorning. bummer. keeping my fingers crossed, though.

ah finally managed to find this, and put it together: the Fencing Singapore International 2004 Corporate Stikfas figure! its just so cool.. was hunting high and low for it, but lo and behold, i've finally found it! pix to come, if i can overcome this no-picture inertia.

has gradually dawned on me that 1) i will need a REAL break next hols, because there's a couple of exams right at the end of term; 2) most ppl are either heading home or travelling to places i have absolutely no desire to see; and therefore 3) it is now a real possibility that i may travel by myself. i sorta welcome it, actually. part of slowly becoming comfortable with myself. but of course this plan has met with stiff resistance from my parents.. though to be honest, i don't think anybody would put up with more than a day or two of museums, art galleries, sketching, bumming around in cafes, eating from supermarkets/markets, staying in hostels.. and not much shopping.. well if that sounds like fun to you, and you can go somewhere in the easter hols, let me know ASAP. need to buy a travel guidebook before i go back, but i haven't decided on which one..

also - im swamped in turkey this xmas! had tons of turkey before i came back, and now we've got too many turkeys at home, too! *groan*

well, *feliz navidad, amigos!

*insert upside down exclamation mark here.

timestamp: anonymous 18:58 0 comments

12.23.2004

 

[link time!]

was forwarded this, and found it incredibly hilarious - Rules of Engagement and Other Things .. and a sister blog, Sgp Army Stories which is *priceless*. girls have to read it otherwise they won't understand what guys talk about.. and guys have to read it just to feel nostalgic.

been incredibly busy doing *nothing*, and its funny how it's a full time job. the best laid plans of mice and men...

but perhaps this best sums up how i feel now. it's another blog post by the same blogger i linked to above.

slowly finding my own two feet, slowly finding the confidence i know i need to get ahead, to be the person i'm meant to be, to be the person i want to be. i've come such a long way but now it just feels like i have so much more to go; it's an overwhelming sense of futility - that all you've strived for for so very long has just come to naught. i sit back and wonder why, above all, i bother.

timestamp: anonymous 04:26 0 comments

12.11.2004

 

[back in da singapura]

... to paraphrase rather badly from a boredphucks' album title. haven't fully got used to being back yet, my room's still a mess and my body's still somewhere in between UK and SGP time.. but basically i haven't been gone long enough to really miss anything from either side. haven't sorted out my photos yet (and some will never see the light of day, heh) so i'm afraid this will just be a short text-only "i'm back!" post.. still have a big progress test when sch reopens in jan - of which i have done NOTHING for and am currently plunging into the final instalment of Neal Stephenson's Baroque Trilogy, the System of the World (a brilliant book if you ask me) - so if you're around and wanna meet up, sms / icq / msn /etc me and book a slot soon! will be terribly busy this time around..

timestamp: anonymous 04:46 0 comments

12.02.2004

 

[end of term!]

8 weeks have just gone by in a blur - still as clueless abt anatomy as i was 8 weeks ago - and spending wayyyy above my budget. spending an inordinate amt of £ on music - vinyls, concerts, CD singles - and concerts are always heavy on the wallet because of pre-concert dinner, etc. that, coupled with the fatigue that just mounts with each passing week, means that i'm on the verge of collapsing, from the sheer amount of work that needs to be done as well as a vague malaise/fatigue/flu thingy.

in unrelated news, am slowly but surely becoming more confident - when you start from zero, *anything* is a huge improvement. but i am tempted to change, to be what i am not - and i always wonder how much of me actually IS like what i want to be, or whether i'm completely selling out. as with most things, it's always a shade of grey.


Joss Stone concert


Shiny Disco Balls... Ministry of Sound!


Stage from the production of Wit (play about ovarian cancer, really good)

and i've got a couple more photos on my camera (not the camera phone) that i haven't uploaded, so i'll do it slowly. net access is down for a day (at least) cos the college is upgrading the infrastructure. will be back soon.. catch you all then.

disclaimer: i have to work cos i have an exam when i get back.. not fun. hence, won't be able to be out the whole day, yadda yadda.

no songs - yet. ill add one if my net access is still up later, too many songs (without lyrics freely available) swimming around in my head.. i love the music scene here.

timestamp: anonymous 20:53 0 comments

11.08.2004

 

[quick update]

the work's really beginning to pile up, am way behind in my work (as usual) and my usual inefficiency and slow rate of learning isn't helping things either.

went to support my friend at the Daily Telegraph DJ Competition (i presume it was local heats, although i can't really say for sure) on sat at the Clare Cellars.. the place was quite nice and the DJs were fantastic.. got in on guest list, since he was a contestant, and wound up being there with most of the college rugby team (!) and some other medics (who decided to go at the last min).. anyway it's a 15min set so playing house (long tracks) is a definite disadvantage. he went for breaks, but most of the other contestants were hip hop DJs / turntablists (with some pretty mad skillz!!) and as you can probably guess, the tracks are much shorter and you can pack in much more variety.

the decks -


the venue -


the DJ!




random shot of me at Guy Fawkes' Night party


haven't been bringing my camera everywhere, cos i now have a sony ericsson k700i! mwahahaa. the pictures arent fantastic, but they get the job done..

super irritated, because i just spent £14 replacing my brake pads, then right after that i discover that the front wheel hits the pedals when i cycle.. all my friends swear it's seriously unsafe to cycle (though i managed to get to town and back), so i'll probably have to splash out on a fancy new bike. more £££... anyway - just to console myself - the bike certainly wasn't like that initially, so i suspect i might have crashed it one too many times, in which case it's better to total a cheap(er) second hand bike. =/

Usher ft Alicia Keyes - My Boo (yes it's spelled that way)

---

[Usher intro:]

There's always that one person
That will always have your heart
You'll never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo

[Alicia intro:]

I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock

[Usher Verse:]

Do you remember girl
I was the one who gave you your first kiss
Cause I remember girl
I was the one who said put your lips like this
Even before all the fame and
People screaming your name
Girl I was there when you were my baby

[Chorus:]
[Usher:]
It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

[Alicia:]
I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man in my life
You will always be my boo

[Alicia Verse:]

Yes I remember boy
Cause after we kissed
I could only think about your lips
Yes I remember boy
The moment I knew you were the one
I could spend my life with
Even before all the fame
And people screaming your name
I was there and you were my baby

[Chorus:]
[Usher:]
It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

[Alicia:]
I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man in my life
You will always be my boo

[Usher:]
My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

[Alicia:]
My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

[Chorus:]
[Usher:]
It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

[Alicia & Usher:]

I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock

timestamp: anonymous 17:30 0 comments

11.02.2004

 

[loneliness is just a state of mind]

so many things have happened that i just don't know where to begin. no one single event on its own is earth-shattering, but taken all together in rapid succession, the collective impact is just.. numbing.

i live my life with too much emotion for my own good. it's not healthy, and it's really just a waste of emotion over pointless things that aren't worth bothering about. and each time i open my heart to somebody, something goes horribly wrong. most of the time i'm one step too late (though it DOES beg the question whether anything i might have done earlier would make a difference - most of the time the honest answer is no) and on the rare occasion that it's not, i inevitably screw things up. sometimes i wonder whether i'm cut out for all this, whether i am the heartbreaker my ego insists i am (the ego being the ego, this is a purely bhb point), or indeed whether i have any semblance of a magnetic personality (if i do, it's set on 'repulse').

it's tempting to just shut the door and become cynical, but i've grown out of that a long time ago. now, it's just a numbing feeling that doesn't go away easily. i don't really blame anybody for my condition - everybody has a right to like somebody, and there exists a reciprocal right for that person to not like somebody back. i think i was just born and raised sensitive, to the point where its more of a hindrance than anything, and i've always been showered in nothing but love from my family, so much so that i tend to be overexpressive when it's unwarranted or worse, unwelcome. that's just the way i am, and it naturally predisposes me towards getting hurt.

i've thought long and hard about what it is about me that i could be doing wrong: too quiet, too reserved, too serious, the list goes on. i've tried to change time and time again, but i haven't really got very far from where i started. and that begs the question: is there a point in changing yourself? and as long as the person you like is entitled to not reciprocate, there is no point in changing, because you'll just keep changing and you'll still not satisfy anybody.

i've come so close to gaining street cred now - something i've always wanted - but i live with the burden of not fitting in. sometimes it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. always was too funky for the quiet, more studious types, and always was too geeky for the loud, trendsetting types. i can't really hold a conversation, and the problem is worse here because i don't really have much in common with everybody else - i don't follow football, or much sport for that matter, i don't go to formal dinners (too troublesome), i don't drink much, i don't go to the college disco (too cheesy for me) and i don't club normally (crap music and expensive). i'm on the verge of losing that cred because i don't always tag along on pub crawls or clubbing nights or college disco - i don't really enjoy those things, and nobody likes to go to big name DJ events for some strange reason. truth of the matter is it really shouldn't matter so much to me - i really should just be doing my thing regardless of what everybody else thinks - but i'm just too insecure to really be able to do that.

and apart from insecurity, i just think so much about things that it borders on the obsessive. your heart is always wrenched in two when you see someone you like with someone else - part of you is happy that they're happy and they're probably a better match for each other than you could ever hope to be, but the other part of you just thinks: why not me?

am i too picky in finding somebody i like? but if there's a spark there's a spark.. and i haven't found any lately.

i can't really be bothered if whoever i want IS like my parents or eventually winds up being like my parents - as long as i care about them, it doesn't really matter. people change all the time: if you know you like, even love a person enough, you'll stick by them no matter how much they change. thing is, romantic love isn't like parental love. even at its purest, you love a person conditionally - for being themselves. and if they do change abruptly (say, becoming a cold-blooded mass murderer) then there's nothing inherently wrong in not loving that person anymore, because they aren't being the self that you fell in love with in the first place. you just can't escape from the conditional aspect even at the purest form; thinking otherwise is self-delusional at best. not too worried about marriage in general - the important thing is finding the right person - and i've only just come to realise that despite what i thought, i've never met a single right person. .. but then that's just me.

need something to take my mind away from it all. any of 3 things now would help: a proper DJ coming down to spin a proper set in town, someone to share a deeply loving, mutual relationship with (im just SO dependent that i hate myself) or an engaging research project to make me feel enthusiastic again. thing is, i know i won't have the time for any of them, especially the last one.. but it keeps me challenged.

i just want to be accepted. i just want to love, and be loved. (doesn't everybody?) is that too much to ask?

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - There She Goes, My Beautiful World

---

The wintergreen, the juniper
The cornflower and the chicory
All the words you said to me
Still vibrating in the air
The elm, the ash and the linden tree
The dark and deep, enchanted sea
The trembling moon and the stars unfurled
There she goes, my beautiful world

There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes again

John Willmot penned his poetry
riddled with the pox
Nabakov wrote on index cards,
at a lectem, in his socks
St. John of the Cross did his best stuff
imprisoned in a box
And JohnnyThunders was half alive
when he wrote Chinese Rocks

Well, me, I'm lying here, with nothing in my ears
Me, I'm lying here, with nothing in my ears
Me, I'm lying here, for what seems years
I'm just lying on my bed with nothing in my head

Send that stuff on down to me
Send that stuff on down to me
Send that stuff on down to me
Send that stuff on down to me

There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes again

Karl Marx squeezed his carbuncles
while writing Das Kapital
And Gaugin, he buggered off, man,
and went all tropical
While Philip Larkin stuck it out
in a library in Hull
And Dylan Thomas died drunk in
St. Vincent's hospital

I will kneel at your feet
I will lie at your door
I will rock you to sleep
I will roll on the floor
And I'll ask for nothing
Nothing in this life
I'll ask for nothing
Give me ever-lasting life

I just want to move the world
I just want to move the world
I just want to move the world
I just want to move

There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes again

So if you got a trumpet, get on your feet,
brother, and blow it
If you've got a field, that don't yield,
well get up and hoe it
I look at you and you look at me and
deep in our hearts know it
That you weren't much of a muse,
but then I weren't much of a poet

I will be your slave
I will peel you grapes
Up on your pedestal
With your ivory and apes
With your book of ideas
With your alchemy
O Come on
Send that stuff on down to me

Send that stuff on down to me
Send that stuff on down to me
Send that stuff on down to me
Send that stuff on down to me
Send it all around the world
Cause here she comes, my beautiful girl

There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes, my beautiful world
There she goes again

timestamp: anonymous 23:15 0 comments

10.31.2004

 

[downhill]

and just when i thought everything was looking up. i really shouldn't do any anticipatory posts - "things are beginning to look up!" because (and you can prove this yourself, too) over the long run probability favours something really big to screw up and mess with your mood.

first things first - daylight savings time is now over (apparently) so the clocks are set back by 1h. hence, the time difference from SGP to here is now -8h, not -7 (as it was yesterday). shdnt be a diff for US peeps like gen, yk etc because you're probably on DST as well so no net effect.

anyway i didn't receive my checkbook by the mail for over a month and have been chasing my bank for it. imagine my surprise when i just happened to print out an account statement when i was withdrawing money.. someone cashed a check out of my account for £860!! i discovered that sometime mid-late last week but nothing can be done until the copy of the cheque arrives at the bank. whee.. that's no small sum of $.

nursing a horrible headache now - no it's not alcohol related!! - it's probably the summation of all these little nitty gritty things turning into low-grade stress.

*really annoyed*

The Zutons - Don't Ever Think

---

I'm standing on the edge of the cliff
And I'm thinking it through my mind
I'm afraid that I'm about to slip
Because my body is out of time

And I'm thinking, thinking, thinking, think
Thinking till I'm nearly dead
Do you remember when you were young?
Do you remember what your mother said?

She said, don't ever think, ever think, ever think too much
and don't ever think, ever think, ever think too much
and don't ever think, ever think, ever think too much
and don't ever think, ever think, ever think too much

Obsession is a terrible thing
Does it happen to everyone?
As mother nature comes with a sting
And it persecutes everyone

And I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm lying awake
Lying in my burnt out bed
Do you remember when you were young?
Do you remember what your mother said?

She said, don't ever think, ever think, ever think too much
and don't ever think, ever think, ever think too much
and don't ever think, ever think, ever think too much
and don't ever think, ever think, ever think too much

And I think again
And I think again
It's just the thinking I don't understand
It's all holes, built to wires
But persecution is on fire

Don't ever think, ever think, ever think too much
and don't ever think, ever think, ever think too much (repeat to fade)

---

liked that so much that i bought the vinyl single! £1.50 only.. wow. now i only need a turntable..

timestamp: anonymous 03:48 0 comments

10.26.2004

 

[looking up]

well.. things are finally beginning to look up! it's still a mad rush trying to keep pace with what's going on in lectures & dissections while still trying to maintain street cred (sigh!) without compromising on what i feel comfortable with.

but hey, things are looking up.. CORRECTLY identified the median nerve (it's kinda soft and squidgy for a nerve) in the carpal tunnel - which everybody else thought was the radial artery (apparently more soft and squidgy, but the point is that it's somewhere ELSE altogether) - and which they mistook for the tendon of palmaris longus (which i correctly identified as well). small victory, yes, but at least my intuition is still working correctly.

had a great time at sat's Stanton Warriors gig at the Junction (past the railway station, so that's really far.. but not as far as when I have to get to Homerton College for kendo trg, that's the venue they've booked for the past week + ) and i must say i have NEVER felt more at home in the UK. (some decent music for a change!) .. there's really not much point in going out a few times a week if the music's all generic and crap, but then that's just me.

lots of other assorted incidents as well that i don't have the time to get into here, though i'm STILL owed my chequebook and bank statement from HSBC. 3 weeks and counting, whee.

if i was to actually sit down and think hard about what's been happening, the victories have been really small compared to the setbacks - but for some strange reason i'm just not sad. i'm positively buoyant and i have no idea why.. hope this lasts!

oh, and because the title was "quote me on this..."

"Relationships are like tennis: courting is involved, balls are involved, and love is a score."
-- Pris and QX, on the phone

no appropriate songs for this post, unfortunately!

timestamp: anonymous 00:02 0 comments

10.09.2004

 

[freshers' week]

hi all, i'm gradually settling in, but before i can do so the workload's already piling up!

my room's nice and big and, after a spot of decoration or two, very cheery! =)

getting to grips with my bike (second hand, 50 GBP + 45 GBP accessories) - the first day i just kept running into things, including but not limited to: the hedge just outside college, a metal post next to the market square that just rose out of the ground in front of me (to my extreme horror) which caused me to flip over the handlebars, and the side of a bridge (don't ask the name), causing my spanking new polycarbonate water bottle to disappear into the depths of the river cam.

anyway that was a few days ago, and just yesterday i was happily riding alone in the dark all the way across town to the YMCA for kendo training. fencing helps A LOT, that's what i can say, but it's way more regimented and i don't know how long i'll maintain interest. (it's not cheap, either..)

ok photo time!



My room.. the one just above the corridor.

Heh.

I'm here, if you look carefully..

that's it for now. future updates will probably be extremely brief! o_O xx

timestamp: anonymous 23:00 0 comments

9.29.2004

 

[alive & kicking]

in college now. moved in all my stuff, unpacked it really nicely.. the room's much bigger than expected (but hey, i'm paying £700 / term!!) and i *should* be able to occupy it during holidays (less moving around) but i'll have to pay rent (abt GBP500 or thereabouts based on per-day rates).

Net access in my room is not up yet, but should be up by thu or fri; can you believe i din bring an ethernet cable? so i have to buy one - 3/4/5m for £3, from college. if you buy outside of college its about 1m for £5.

My room's pretty dark, so i had to go lamp-hunting. it's a real problem finding lighting here - courts only sells furniture, bedding and carpeting, and i couldn't figure out how argos worked (apparently you pick stuff from a catalog, the guy disappears into a big storeroom and emerges 5 min later with your stuff) so i went running around all the big stores from supermarts to DIY shops to computer shops before I finally found a desk lamp from Office World. 35W halogen bulb, but the lamp cost £20!!!

Intl students orientation will be starting later this evening. Time difference is SGP -7h (for now). A few weeks later daylight savings time kicks in and it becomes SGP -8h. Bought a 2nd hand bike for £50 from wayyy out of town (but the guy was really friendly. "Mr Bike".. haha. runs a one man show, repairing and selling 2nd hand bikes & accessories.), after adding accessories like helmet, lock (v impt!), basket and stuff, total was £95. almost as much as a new bike! but it's a blue Shimano 10-speed and it rides pretty well, so i think that's OK.

Using common computers now - can't get used to the british keyboards! the " key is Shift-2, £ is Shift-3, @ is above R Shift, ~ is above R Shift, and ¬ is above Tab!!! Argh!!! Upload photos and stuff once my room account is up. Been living off sandwiches, pies and horribly expensive, yet untasty chinese takeaway food the past couple of days with my parents. Trying to make new friends and stuff, the apprehension is gradually fading. Oh well. Update you guys later. Cya!

PS this was rehashed cos somehow i managed to clear the original post before i hit the publish button. *grumble*

timestamp: anonymous 22:14 0 comments

9.25.2004

 

[leaving]

well, i promised to update my blog again before i left, so here i am, typing away in the departure lounge of changi airport terminal 1. theres no way i can upload photos here, so i guess you guys will just have to wait! a big thank you to jun, teck, kaiwei, jacob, jingcong, boss, Dy and tim! be uploading photos once i've settled down and stuff. i'm not exactly in the habit of taking photos everywhere i go YET, so don't go expecting something like yk's blog which is full of photos!

ok gotta run now. ebdy take care, ill catch up with you soon.

timestamp: anonymous 13:19 0 comments

9.19.2004

 

[packing]

busy busy busy packing, unpacking, repacking... too much stuff (a perennial problem) and too little time. im way behind on my reading (and since there's so little time left i'm quite tempted to ditch it altogether already!) and *seriously* need to rip my CDs into my jukebox zen and organise my computer / palm (yes, a rapidly aging b&w one that's gone thru NS with me) in preparation for the trip.

anyhoo i replaced the batteries of the trusty old casio fx-D400 (some of you may remember that as THE calculator to use in A Maths back in Sec 3/4.. that is, unless you were naughty and broke/lost/misplaced/killed the calc. then you had to get it replaced with something else - either a sharp model or another (more ugly IMHO) casio model. but i still love the fx-D400.) and it was interesting enough to warrant a shot. well, i'll just test the link here then -



how was that?

planning to update my msn icon etc soon, but that can only come after i install some photo-editing software and *really* thrash out my hard disk.

leaving this saturday. was feeling a little blue last week, but now that there's so little time left the melancholiness is being rapidly replaced with anxiety (and more packing)!

that's it for now..

timestamp: anonymous 20:27 0 comments

9.09.2004

 

[odds and ends as i update the ID3 tags of my MP3 collection]

two really cool things i never knew before:

• The KLF (forever remembered as the people behind 3 AM Eternal - yes, *that* mass dance song. dunno how it got picked but it's definitely off the beaten track, if you ask me), a little biography from the All Music Guide. Interestingly enough, the version of 3 AM Eternal commonly heard was recorded live at an early 90s Brit Awards, where the KLF were performing, complete with automatic rifle shooting blanks (thank goodness this was pre-Sep 11), backed up by an outfit called Extreme Noise Terror, and the cryptic ending remark "The KLF have left the building". Apparently the original, live, one was "The KLF have left the music industry." Really eccentric characters, and very very interesting!
  

  
  

• A response from Jyoti Mishra, the man behind White Town, on what the hit 1997 single "Your Woman" is about.. hilarious.
  

i've since discovered that it pays to do simple housekeeping of files - in the case of MP3s, filling up all the minutiae in the ID3 tags - as soon as you save them, before you come back 6 years later wondering what the HECK dream.mp3 or more.mp3 is. there just aren't enough clues to narrow it down (and believe me i've dug up as much info as i possibly can). spent most of this week just sorting my old ID3 tags, and i haven't even got down to the real business of ripping my entire CD collection into my spanking new creative jukebox [hard-disk type MP3 player -Ed].

timestamp: anonymous 20:32 0 comments

8.22.2004

 

[maintenance post]

i'm still alive, i'm still alive... just been really busy the past few weeks. don't ask me exactly what i was doing, either, cos in all honesty i can't supply an answer either. but i'll try anyway. here goes - finish report & ppt, pack room (in a perennial mess, i can only hope my room over *there* is going to look more presentable), buy laptop (now a proud owner of a IBM T42. it runs doom3, w00! what more can i say?), attempt to install necessary software on said laptop, attend talks, meet up with people, send people off, watch olympics, and generally just refusing to sleep til 0600. (w00!) did i mention the ignominy of falling asleep on the sofa during the first Olympic 0400-0600 transmission - womens' team epee gold medal match, no less - what a waste.. but in truth the blades were moving too fast for my tired eyes to catch.

i'll just offer my quick 2 cents worth on our Olympic performance so far: great, but we just lost out in the final bits when it came to the crunch. we could have won, and we should have won. i just hope they start sports psychology classes for all national-team players soon, we seem to be sorely lacking in that dept. however, i also like to point out that any graduate of our local school system is more than well-versed in sports psychology / exam psychology, theyre all the same. maybe a short stint in school is in order for all national players?

all the scheduled, televised fencing matches are over, and although i didn't really keep track of all the events i could've sworn that some of the team matches weren't televised, perhaps because some other more popular sport was televised instead (and there are only 4 channels to televise the events with) - again, a real shame. but what *really* irked me was the way the italian mens' foil team behaved: play-acting (faking an injury, limping about in pain, the dr pronounced no injury, and seconds later he was lunging like the rest of them), mocking their opponents, and falling over about a dozen times, either onto or out of the piste. they basically tricked their way from a loss to a lead, and actually won the gold medal match. this is fencing, not some barside brawl.. unsporting, uncouth, and most importantly - unforgivable.

timestamp: anonymous 22:37 0 comments

7.26.2004

 

[eulogy]

i've been away for a little over a week, and so much has changed. the first weekend i was gone, one of the researchers at the institute im working in now passed on. what made it worse was that i knew him - not *very* well, to be honest, but he was on the same floor, same office, same lab. always smiling, a big joker, kind, and warm-hearted. it was a freak accident while on a trip to malaysia with colleagues - people i know too - in a part of malaysia i practically grew up in/with - i don't know if it was in the papers while i was gone; haven't read them, and probably won't have time to anyway. i learnt about it the most sterile way possible - inferred from mails on my work account. the inevitable collection for the bereaved family, scheduled visits by the counsellors.

i didn't even get to say goodbye.

when i got back to work today, the little label-printed nametag on his pigeonhole had been removed. just one gaping hole in the apartment-block-like mess of letters, flyers, papers and advertisements from lab supply companies. his cubicle, in stark, nay, poignant, contrast, was exactly the way it had been when i left before my vacation, the only difference being a bunch of fresh flowers placed gingerly in front of his workstation.

nobody talks about it; it's been over a week since the unfortunate incident, and life must move on. but it's a rude shock for me. i've lived a blessed life, because i've never seen anybody close to me pass on (*touch wood, with all my heart*) .. this is about the closest i've come to dealing with death.

im still much too sentimental for my own good, and i need to get a grip on myself soon. i can't imagine how i'll be like when my first patient dies on me (*again, touch wood, with all my heart*). time to start reading On Death and Dying.. (it's a book for those in the medical profession to learn how to cope with [professional] death.. not some funny self-help book!)

you know how it is - how the message behind some 'common-sensical' stuff never really hits home until you really experience it firsthand - it's the same thing here. i've never really known how precious life is/was, how you can suddenly *go* without warning. i'd have taken it a bit better if it was a road accident or something in singapore - who would have thought the trip with which they undertook with such great enthusiasm and fanfare? it's the unexpected, unpredictable, perhaps even unimaginable passing-ons that shock the most. if this sounds really haphazard and disorganised, well, i don't really have any solid lessons to draw from this, just a deep blue period of mulling over things in general.

the more i think about it, the more fated it seems - how some things are eventually inescapable. or, as i've seen in a quote from [here, badly misquoted] Terry Prachett, how everybody you meet is going to die anyway. and there's just so much more i want to do, have to do, yet to do.. it's some sort of morbidly depressing impetus to act - sooner rather than later.

im sure you've gone through some painful losses too. if you're comfortable sharing them with me, then pls let me know. im still trying to find meaning in this whole turn of events.

---

Katie Melua - Crawling Up A Hill

---

Every morning (a)bout half past eight,
My Mummer wakes me says,
"Don't be late",
Get to the office, tryin' to concentrate,
My life is just a slow train crawling up a hill.

So I stop one day to figure it out,
I'll quit my job without a shadow of a doubt,
To sing the blues that I know about,
My life is just a slow train crawling up a hill.

Minute after minute,
Second after second,
Hour after hour goes by,
Working for a rich girl,
Staying just a poor girl,
Never stop to wonder why.

So here I am in London town,
A better scene Iüm gonna be around,
The kind of music that won't bring me down,
My life is just a slow train crawling up a hill.

Every morning (a)bout half past eight,
My Mummer wakes me says,
"Don't be late",
I get to the office, tryin' to concentrate,
My life is like a slow train crawling up a hill.

So I stop one day to figure it out,
I'll quit my job without a shadow of a doubt,
To sing the blues that I know about,
My life is just a slow train crawling up a hill.

Minute after minute,
Second after second,
Hour after hour goes by,
Working for a rich girl,
Staying just a poor girl,
Never stop to wonder why.

So here I am in London town,
A better scene I'm gonna be around,
The kind of music that won't bring me down,
Life is just a slow train.

So here I am in London town,
A better scene I'm gonna be around,
The kind of music that won't bring me down,
My life is just a slow train crawling up a hill

---

if the font comes out looking weird - new WYSIWYG blogger interface. excuse the font, ill figure out some way to fix it (if it is indeed broken).

katie melua's debut (i think) album - Call Off the Search. wonderfully atmospheric jazz-type vocals. endlessly adaptable.. respect.

timestamp: anonymous 18:24 0 comments

7.15.2004

 

[bunny hop]

found myself in Singapore Poly's clean room (incidentally, in the same building where i took the Communications System Engineering course in my cadet days.. yes, *that* building, teck & PP! apparently its the sch of engineering building or something) earlier this week, and the sight of all the bunny suits (not to mention the act of wearing them) left me trying very hard to stifle my laughter. it's just... weird. to put things in perspective, the moment you enter the room, you hit an office, and you must change your shoes to 'lab slippers'. then you go through two sets of sticky anti-dust mats, the kind that your 'lab slippers' stick to like there's no tomorrow, before entering the changing room. there you need to put on a jumpsuit (white for the poly students, blue for staff/faculty, green for other 'registered' users, hence i found myself wearing green) before swapping your slippers for jumpsuit-matching plastic pieces that go over your bare feet/socks. then gloves, a face mask, a hair mask, before you roll the hood of the jumpsuit over. after that, a quick blast of air through a set of double doors before you enter the actual clean room.

inside the clean room are all sorts of machines and things they use to fabricate chips and stuff. each piece of equipment looks like it cost a million.. and it's about as hard to use as it is expensive.

what really struck me was the difference in viewpoint between engineers and biologists: to engineers / microchip manufacturers, humans are contaminants that the clean microchips have to be protected from, hence the bunny suits; to biologists / virologists, viruses are contaminants that the clean humans have to be protected from, hence the bunny suits. on one hand people are 'dirty', whereas on the other, people are 'clean'.. it's all mind-boggling. to me, at least.

timestamp: anonymous 13:39 0 comments

7.10.2004

 

[hanging up all my hang ups]

if there's one thing i've learnt this week, it's how much i've changed.. and how much more there is to go. (technically that's actually two things, but they're flip sides of the same point, so it still counts) regardless of how i carry myself, i just can't get rid of all my hang-ups, most of which are either downright childish or have no firm basis for existing. (i'm not going to elaborate!)

but i have found that music is therapeutic, and live music, even more so - had a great night out yest covering enough musical styles to cover half of HMV, and then some - and i've more or less thrown all the emotional baggage i've been lugging around this past week away.

the observatory gig was a bit of a letdown - although the sound was very polished and studio-quality (thanks to the mixers and powerbooks they were equipped with), everything wound up sounding rather similar after a while. and it WAS very ironic that after a drawn-out discussion during dinner about the punctuality campaign and how concerts NEVER start on time, we arrived half an hour late, only to find the gig in full swing (if you can imagine a chill-out-rock type gig in full swing). the venue was far smaller than the ZGPS one, maybe the management learnt their lesson not to utilise too big a space, but i was rather perturbed by the legions of fans quietly sitting down in an orderly fashion. *suspends disbelief* this IS singapore, after all. it even prompted the band to remark that "this is the quietest audience we've ever had!" *sigh* to be fair, though, it IS a little hard to gyrate to the observatory, and i'm not going to embarrass myself further by attempting to categorize their style of music. it was technically competent, but a little lacking - i certainly didn't walk out of the venue with the same satisfaction i did after ZGPS - though it's hard to say whether it was more the audience's fault or the band's. sad.

spilled out of the theatre studio on the top floor to catch ublues from the comfort of the roof terrace - now that was cool. the view from the roof terrace is nothing like that along the riverside, i can't quite put my finger on it, but there's a big difference in both atmosphere and view. it didn't last long, though, and security soon ushered us out of the roof terrace. what a shame!

ublues was fantastic. there's really no doubt as to why they've gone on to international festivals and stuff, the energy and sheer enthusiasm of the band is palpable! listening to them from the roof terrace didn't really do them justice, although the ground-level concert pit was jam-packed with people, simply because they had *presence*. they weren't into the whole visual-rock business, but it was a joy to catch them performing live. (fast running out of descriptive words)

and area 320... well we went early (2300+) and took quite a while to find the venue. the main problem with arriving early is that there are just too few people and absolutely NO energy at all. not that crowds are good, mind, the smoke is downright irritating - i can't understand how people manage to smoke and dance. they probably could run a marathon and still be puffing away, pun unintended - and it's difficult to move around from point A to point B. if i had doubts about whether my $28 was well spent in the first half an hour, it largely dissipated in the next hour, because the Lo-Fidelity Allstars (the primary reason why i decided to go) were absolutely wonderful. they managed the pulse of the crowd well, and name-dropped enough 'popular' tunes to get people feeling at ease - among them the Beastie Boys, twice, they opened the set with 'Intergalatic' and followed up later in the set with the new single 'Ch-Check It Out', Max Sedgely's "Happy" and Basement Jaxx' "Jump 'N Shout" - when in a large crowd of strangers, you just feel incredibly reassured and comforted by recognising a tune that you know. that's my theory, anyway. i'm still not sure if their set was mainly house or not, but I can say that I liked just about everything in the set.

the local DJs, in contrast, didn't receive such a warm reception, partly because their sets were more downtempo and by nature slower. it doesn't take a genius to figure out that they're the warm-up DJs before the big names come on.. maybe that was the crowd opinion too, or everybody was just spoiled rotten after the Lo-Fi Allstars.

Kid Loco's set was typically French, in the sense that it was quirky in a very fashionable way. at one point he actually played "The Sound of Silence" with a big beat.. what more can i say? brilliant, if in a less intense way than the Lo-Fi Allstars.

transportation was a major headache, though, i really wish i had driven there, it's right smack in the middle of nowhere and goodness knows when the shuttle bus comes (and if it ever does)..

whatever it is, though, im happy, and i've got nary a care in the world. mission accomplished!

Basement Jaxx - U Can't Stop Me

---

I got sixteen seconds and i don't want to stop
Got no time for the present living on a spinning top
i got satan on the tv i got god in a frame
i say 'hello' for a second then you won't see me again
i am happy i am sad i can be most anything
i'm a scary motha*> I'm the future on a spring
i got sixteen seconds and i don't wanna stop
i got no time for the present living on a spinning top
can't stop me, can't stop me, Can't stop me
you can't stop me

I got sixteen seconds and i don't wanna stop
i got no time for the present living on a spinning top
i got a fast food store selling poison, selling rocks
spaghetti junction in my head i'm living in the aftershock
i am happy i am sad i can do most anything
i'm a scary motha*> i'm the future on a spring
i got no time for the present living on a spinning top
can't stop me, can't stop me, can't stop me
you can't stop me

---

i've also begun to appreciate how so many things in life seem to be fated. for most of secondary school i had looked towards studying in the UK, because I was developing my taste in music, and the UK was simply the place to be for music. then around late sec4-j1 i started to look at the states or canada, because i liked the liberal arts system and the freedom of choosing your own courses. and as fate would have it, i was categorically rejected from all my US unis, and wound up being accepted in the UK - so i had to realign my thinking once again.

but given a choice now, i'd stick with the UK, simply because of the wide range of music available and how easy it is to find it there - from radio to clubs to records - and i know that if i had gone to the states i'd be firmly stuck on hip-hop/rap, or house, and that's about it. i'm happy the way things turned out. ^^;

ADDENDUM: it only struck me later that the phrase "hanging up all my hang ups" came from a song.. and how apt it is! Jamiroquai's "Canned Heat", the tune that was endlessly played all throughout 2000 (if my memory serves me well), which culuminated in me buying the album. anyway, here goes..

Jamoroquai - Canned Heat

---

You know this boogie is for real.
I used to buy my faith in worship,
But then my chance TO GET to Heaven slipped
I used to worry about the future
But then I throw my caution to the wind.
I had no reason to be care free
No no no, until I took a trip to the other side of town
Yeah yeah yeah, you know I heard that boogie rhythm
Hey- I had no choice but to get down down down down.

CHORUS

Dance, nothing left for me to do but dance,
Off these bad times I'm going through just dance
Got canned heat in my heals tonight baby

I feel the thunder see the lightning
I know this anger's heaven sent.
So I've got to hang out all my hang-ups
Because of the boogie I feel so hell bent
It's just an instant gut reaction, that I got
I know I never ever felt like this before,
I dont know what to do
But then thats nothing new,
Stuck between hell and high water
I need a cure to make it through.

Hey- dancing nothing left for me to do but dance
Off these bad times I'm going through just dance,
Hey got canned heat in my heals tonight baby
You know know know I'm gonna dance yeah
Off all the nasty things that people say.


You know know know I'm gonna dance yeah
Oh the nasty things that people say, but I'm gonna make it anyway...
Dance yeah! Got canned heat in my heels tonight baby!
You know I've got canned heat in my heels baby
You know this boogie is for real...
Only the wind can blow the answer
And she cries to me when I'm asleep
She says you know that you can go much faster
I know that peoples' talk can be so cheap
Yeah yeah
I got this voodoo child inveined on me
I'm gonna use my power to ascend
You know I got these running heels to use
Sometimes there's no way to lose
I was born to run
And built to last
You've never seen my feet
They can go so fast

Dance…yeah, hey!
Nothing left for me to do but
Dance
All these bad times I'm going through just
Dance…Hey
Got Canned Heat in my heels tonight, baby

Hey I've got to dance yeah!
Oh the nasty things that people say
But I'm gonna make it anyway,
Dance yeah!
Got canned heat in my heels tonight baby

You know this boogie is for real ,
So much canned heat in my heels yeah!
Gonna dance, gonna dance my blues away tonight,
You know I'm gonna dance my blues away,

You know this boogie is for real ,
So much canned heat in my heels yeah!
Gonna dance, gonna dance my blues away tonight,
Dance!
Got canned heat in my heels tonight,
Oh oh oh oh, canned heat in my heels tonight
Oh oh oh oh, canned heat in my heels tonight
Got so much...

Dance!

Hey DJ
Let the music play
I'm gonna live this party live
Hey DJ
Throw my cares away
I'm gonna live this party live
Hey DJ
Let the music play
I'm gonna this live this party live
Hey DJ
Throw my cares away
I'm gonna live this party live

Canned heat in my heels tonight!

You know, you know this boogie is for real
Got so much Canned Heat in my heels
Gonna dance, gonna dance my blues away tonight
Whoooooooo!
You know, you know this boogie
This boogie is for real
Got so much Canned Heat
Canned Heat in my heels.
You know I'm gonna dance my blues away tonight

---

it neatly encapsulates everything im feeling. dancing all your cares away is... cathartic, for want of a better word. im really glad im heading to UK where there's just a huge abundance of clubs, i've got this sinking feeling that i'll need to continuously destress to stay sane. o_O

that sounded a bit sad, but it shouldnt be! haha ^^;

timestamp: anonymous 21:48 0 comments

7.05.2004

 

[nothing in particular]

was in the new Orchard Point OG Toys Dept - im really a budding toyologist, ask me if you ever need to buy toys for sub-teens pre-teens for bdaes, xmas, whatever, i try to keep up with the latest trends - stumbled across Stikfas (TM) figures going cheap.

for the unintiated, Stikfas is/was actually a local product from a small little startup that won many prizes at a toy fair (best design, etc), and toy giant Hasbro bought the product and the rights and now manufactures and distributes the toys. (that was more or less what i remember from a Sunday Plus article quote a while ago) it's basically a self-assembled super-poseable figure with tons of accessories. so basically they come in various 'flavours': the male figures are called alpha males, and they have super hero, super villain, kung fu monk, military man, among others; the female ones are beta females and the one i know of is a tomb-raider themed one. it's really simple - the figures are faceless and basically featureless. kinda like those artists' wooden body dummies. but there are a TON, literally, of themed accessories for the figure to hold/use that come with the figurine, and generally it just lets your imagination run wild.

however i do feel that it's a little out of place next to transformers (more on that later) and other action toys: your average 10-year old really won't appreciate a faceless, super-poseable non-advertised figurine. their taste in toys just isnt sophisticated or developed enough yet to actually accept a concept-toy for more than what it is. to them, they want things they can identify with, the heroes and villains they see on TV. so it's not much of a surprise that they're going on sale.

that said, though, it's a real shame if Hasbro decides to cut their losses and stop this line altogether. we need more imaginative toys like this - all too often our heroes and heroines are prefabricated and come fleshed out with facial features, personality quirks and costumes from the writer. once in a while we need something to stir up our imagination again.

had the first day of the pre-dep course today. quite fun, learnt a lot of things about myself and leadership + made many new frens along the way. if u happen to be reading this - HI!!!

Katy Rose - Overdrive

---

Out of bed at the crack of noon
Blare the music and have a swoon
I can’t stop thinking of your face
La la lee la lee loo lace
I’m six feet under the Bhodi tree
With my crap new-age philosophy
Diamonds where there once were stars
I’m sitting in Jayne Mansfield’s car

Yeah yeah I’m independence
Yeah yeah I’m borderline
Yeah yeah I’m California
My minds all screwed and upside down
But my hearts on overdrive
Yeah my hearts on overdrive

I need to take a shower when I look at you
You sting and hurt like a bad tattoo
I wish you’d change my point of view
I cruise the canyon to get some breeze
With hidden treasures up my sleeve
I like the light and hate the heat
But I’ll lick the blood right off your street

Yeah yeah I’m cherry cola
Yeah yeah I’m Candy-eyed
Yeah yeah I’m California
My minds all screwed and upside down
But my hearts on overdrive

They all come here to find a scene
But end up girls on Methedrine
Naked on a TV screen
The dreams that fall beneath my feet
Make my footsteps feel so sweet
But your kisses are my fait accompli

Yeah yeah I’m independence
Yeah yeah I’m borderline
Yeah yeah I’m California
My minds all screwed and upside down
But my hearts on overdrive
Yeah my hearts on overdrive

---

yup it's teen-ish rock-pop. but it's good, despite the subject matter, the song is really quite intelligent in terms of lyrics and imagery. not sure who wrote the song, though.

stumbled across Guru's Jazzmatazz Vol 3 - Streetsoul recently. it's a seamless blend of hip-hop, jazz and soul from 2000, with the biggest names in the industry collaborating on virtually every track, from Kelis to Erykah Badu to Craig David! neat stuff. worth checking out.

timestamp: anonymous 16:22 0 comments

6.24.2004

 

[fated]

despite the really angsty and foreboding title, i must hasten to qualify that i was really struck by the whole fated-ness of sthg that happened to me that i just have to title the post that..

was passing by citylink HMV when i suddenly had a strong feeling that i should go in and look for the Futon CD (the band is Futon, not the Futon, just to clarify a bit) - titled "Never Mind the Botox" - that i'd been searching for since late last year on. so i scour the shelves looking for it.. went thru the entire pop/rock section and din find it. but i eventually found it tucked away in an obscure corner of the dance music section right next to the hip hop / r&b section. it was the last copy too! words just can't describe how i felt - if you can mix equal parts of elation, release and feeling completely at ease together maybe you can approximate it.

anyway Futon is absolutely fabulous.. realise i've been gushing about many bands in the past few posts, but they really are deserving. futon has an attitude - like zircon gov pawnstarz, only less political and more hedonistic (if you can imagine anything more hedonistic than ZGPS!) for those who have had the privilege of hearing both tiramisu and ZGPS, they ARE a sort of lovechild between the two.. elements of rock, dance, punk, everything. well maybe not so much punk as in punk, but punk as in attitude. Futon is played regularly on our airwaves - particularly the single "Bangkok Chemist" and their cover of The Stooges' "I Wanna Be Your Dog". but you know i REALLY REALLY cant get "Gay Boy" (I wanna be a gay boy/ And all fun and play boy/ Look at my tight top/ Fake tan and short crop) out of my head now.. Samples and lyrics here: http://www.rehabisfab.com/eng/head/RIFtracks.html good stuff.

in other news, i never thought i'd ever experience it, but i finally hit a stage that can only be described as 'corn jamming': the corn equivalent of a musical jam session where the whole is truly greater than the sum of its parts. everything comes fast and furious and it synergizes into a single entity.. i never thought i'd reach that level. go, me! =P

Perry Como - Papa Loves Mambo
from the Ocean's Eleven OST

---

Papa loves mambo
Mama loves mambo
Look at 'em sway with it, gettin' so gay with it
Shoutin' "ol" with it, wow! (ooh!)

Papa loves mambo
(Papa loves mambo)
Mama loves mambo
(Mama loves mambo)
Papa does great with it, swings like a gate with it
Evens his weight with it, now!

He goes to, she goes fro
He goes fast, she goes slow
He goes left 'n' she goes right
(Papa's lookin' for mama but mama is nowhere in sight)

Papa loves mambo
Mama loves mambo
Havin' their fling again, younger than Spring again
Feelin' that zing again, wow! (ooh!)

Papa loves mambo
(Papa loves mambo)
Mama loves mambo
(Mama loves mambo)
Don't let her rumba and don't let her samba
'cause papa loves mama tonight (ooh!)

(Papa loves mambo)
(Mama loves mambo)



(Papa loves mambo)
(Mama loves mambo)



He goes to, she goes fro
He goes fast, she goes slow
He goes left 'n' she goes right
(Papa's lookin' for mama but mama is nowhere in sight) (ooh!)

Papa loves mambo
(Papa loves mambo)
Mama loves mambo
(Mama loves mambo)
Havin' their fling again, younger than Spring again
Feelin' that zing again, wow! (ooh!)

(Papa loves mambo)
Mambo papa
(Mama loves mambo)
Mambo mama
(Don't let her rumba and don't let her samba)
'cause papa--
Loves a mambo tonight

(ooh!)

---

been broadening my musical horizons again (not that they were narrow to begin with, but that's very bhb on my part), as you can see!

also: zircon gov pawnstarz finally get featured in 8 days' fashion section. what i can say is that x'ho just doesnt look like his usual self (perhaps the point was that this was his alter ego), and yeow overdid the eyeliner. but other than that i guess it's a sign that they've finally made it, to be able to be featured in 8 days.. (it's truly ironic, but then again what isn't these days? everything has to be taken firmly tongue-in-cheek. which is an oxymoron in itself.)

just realised my blog hit the 2 yr mark.. time to whip out the candles and cake!

timestamp: anonymous 14:17 0 comments

6.16.2004

 

[*boing boing* (TM)']

' *biong biong* copyrighted by peiling (PP). no, that's not a typo.

i must've said this at some point over the last couple of posts: i feel like im on a rollercoaster. to cut a needlessly long, boring and pointless story short, every few days i discover something that i overlooked previously that threatens to nullify my entire project. nullify as in, renders it unworkable. and i'm always a hair's breadth away from disaster (that's 100 microns on average, if you're counting), bumming around on major low-moods for about a day or two til i stumble across some haphazard workaround. then everything's peachy. i don't know how much more disaster-turnaround scenarios i can take before my mind snaps, it's fast becoming a regular occurrence. that's not really very healthy.

i've also recently discovered how expensive air travel is. the advertised return fare on CX from Singapore (SIN) to London Heathrow (LHR), stopping over in Hong Kong (HKG), is SGD$1099. but the catch is i can't get reimbursed for the tix if i purchase a return ticket, for my 'to' trip anyway, so i need a one-way ticket. so i click through to Cathay's online website. the fare for the same flight is SGD$1953, and that's on economy restricted. 'full' economy (if there ever can be such a thing) is SGD$4685. interestingly enough that's more than half of first class - SGD$8819. ouch! i can only get reimbursed SGD$2000, so if i can't get economy restricted then i need to start dipping into savings. how on earth can a return ticket be less than half the price of a one way ticket AND still include a 2D/1N hotel stay in HK?? to save money i'll prob wind up taking a ship to the UK. or sealing myself up in a cargo box and FedExing myself over. then again, given the recent delivery fiasco i've been embroiled in, i might not end up there alive and kicking..

Dashboard Confessional - As Lovers Go
From the Shrek 2 OST

---

She said "i've gotta be honest,
You're wasting your time if you're fishing round here."
And i said "you must be mistaken,
Cause i'm not fooling...this feeling is real"
She said...she said "you gotta be crazy,
What do you take me for? Some kind of easy mark?
" No, you've got wits, you've got looks,
You've got passion, but I swear that you've got me all wrong."

All wrong.
All wrong.
But you got me...

I'll be true, i'll be useful...
I'll be cavalier...i'll be yours my dear.
And i'll belong to you...
If you'll just let me through.
This is easy as lovers go,
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
And this is wonderful as loving goes,
This is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?

And i said "i've gotta be honest
I've been waiting for you all my life."
For so long i thought i was asylum bound,
But just seeing you makes me think twice.
And being with you here makes me sane,
I fear i'll go crazy if you leave my side.
You've got wits...you've got looks,
You've got passion but are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?

Tonight.
Tonight.
But you've got me...

I'll be true, i'll be useful...
I'll be cavalier...i'll be yours my dear.
And i'll belong to you...
If you'll just let me through.
This is easy as lovers go,
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
And this is wonderful as loving goes,
This is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?
This is easy as lovers go,
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
And this is wonderful as loving goes,
This is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?

---

tired. just so tired of everything. maybe im just not meant to be confident. whatever i've built up over the weeks (it's a recent phenomenon, possibly related to the civilian conversion course) just breaks and shatters when given the slightest push.

inexplicably, i also feel really bad now for being such a rotten friend. to be honest, nothing in particular has triggered this, so it's not a guilty conscience: rather a dawning realisation that im not doing enough for my friends. whenever there's a crisis, or what's really eating them, i just don't know. maybe it's because im too caught up in my own stuff to pay any attention. i just don't feel like a true friend, and that makes me feel horrible. i'm so very sorry.

timestamp: anonymous 13:43 0 comments

6.11.2004

 

[2.5 years in the making]

i meant to do a proper long post on this, but considering that i've blogged so many long posts in the past few weeks its time to take a break - a long and well-deserved one, I might add.

when you first enlist it's as though you'll never see the light at the end of the tunnel. but you acclimatize quickly and then all of a sudden you realize that you don't really miss civilian life all that much; it's not all it's cracked up to be. (either that, or i hadn't really started all the hedonistic stuff that i now do!) you go through thick and thin, rain and sun, all sorts of unimaginable crap (for want of a better word), and find that you develop bonds forged in blood, sweat and tears with those who have weathered the storm with you, for better or for worse. then the time comes when you have to leave - and it's hard to leave all those you've been through so much with together. to all those who i have had the privilege of serving with, thanks for bearing with me. i salute you, from the bottom of my heart. ^^;

but i still look really weird in my pink IC. do we get to update the photo? i so do not look like that anymore.

also wound up having my wisdom teeth extracted.. so now im only half as smart as i was before. *sigh* had it done at NUH, which is a teaching hospital.. so there were like 5 final-year dentistry students in the room watching the procedure. how can i mind, i'll be doing that myself in a couple of years' time.. did i mention eye candy? but i digress. i really really miss solid food now. you know the conventional wisdom (ho ho unintentional!): you never miss something until you lose it. it's all my chips and fried stuff, mostly ^^;

The Streets - Fit But You Know It

---

'Scuse me girl, I know it's a bit embarrasin',
But I just noticed some tan lines on your shirt there...

See I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9,
Maybe even 9 and a half in four beers time.
That blue top shop top you've got on IS nice,
Bit too much fake tan though - but yeah you score high.

But theres just one little thing that's really really,
Really really annoying me about you, you see,
Yeah yeah like I said you are really fit
But my gosh don't you just know it.

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though I would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit but my gosh dont you know it.

So when I looked at you standing there with your hoard,
I was waiting in the queue looking at the board
Wondering whether to have a burger or chips
Or what the shrapnel in my back pocket could afford
When I noticed out the corner of my eye
Looking toward my direction
Your eyes locked on my course.
I couldn't concentrate on what I wanted to order,
Which lost me my place in the queue I waited for, YEAH.

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though I would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit but my gosh dont you know it

Whoa!
(Background: Leave it out)
Are you smoking crack or something?
Mike, just leave it, just leave it.
We cannot have that behaviour in this establishment.
S'not worth it Mike, just leave it.
Dont Touch Me! S'not Worth It!
Dont Touch Me, Don'.. I'm Alright, Dont Touch Me.

For a while there I was thinkin' - yeah but what if?
Picturin' myself pullin' with bare white hot wit
Snarin' you as you were standing there opposite
Whether or not you knew it I swear you didn't tick
And when that bloke in the white behind us lot queuing
Was clockin' onto you too yeah I had to admit
That yeah yeah you are fit,
And yeah I do want it,
But I stopped sharkin' for a minute to get chips and drinks.

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though I would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit but my gosh dont you know it.

Now I bashed my head hard earlier due to the brew,
But I am digressing slightly so I'll continue.
I didn't wanna bowl over or gaze around rude
Not rude like good but just rude like uncouth,
You girls think you can just flirt and it comes to you
Well let me tell you, see, Yes Yes you are really rude,
And rude as in good, I knew this as you stood and queued
But I just did not want to give the satisfaction to you.

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though I would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit but my gosh dont you know it.

Oy, just as you started to make your big advance
With the milkshake and that little doughnut in hand
I was like nah, I can't, even though you look grand
But you look sharp there smilin' hard suggesting and
Gleaming away with your hearty hearty lookin' tan
But I admit the next bit was spanner to my plan
You walked towards my path but you just brushed right past
And into the arms of that ****in' white shirted man

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though I would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit but my gosh dont you know it.

Oh what do I give a ****, I've got a girlfriend anyway
(whoa, we've all had a drink mate)
We're all a bit drunk, yeah we've had a few, fair play,
I got this stella I bombed from that last cafe
This night's not even begun, yes yes oh yay.

I did fancy you a bit though yeah I must say
I would rather I hadnt mugged myself on display
But this is just another case of female stop-and-play
In an otherwise total result of a holiday.

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though I would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh dont you know it.

You're fit but you know it (3x)
I think I'm going to fall over
I think I'm going to fall o.., ****in 'ell.

---

The Streets - one man, Mike Skinner, really, despite the name! - is absolutely wonderful. His first album, Original Pirate Material, was released to great critical acclaim. This is from his second album, A Grand Don't Come for Free, which is actually a concept album: it tells a story of how he loses a grand (pounds, so that's gotta hurt) on a day where everything goes horribly wrong, then how he meets this girl and everything looks up, then they have a fight (Dry Your Eyes, perhaps my favourite on the album) then .. the ending (don't wanna give anything away). It's like.. a very british brand of hip-hop, only slower and ridiculously funny to boot, if you actually listen to the lyrics. *bliss*

UPDATE: i've found a more accurate source for the lyrics and put it in instead. you'll notice the song is actually more (mildly) R-rated than the earlier version of the lyrics suggested. here's an album review of A Grand Don't Come for Free.. with track-by-track plot summaries. haha!

timestamp: anonymous 16:59 0 comments

6.10.2004

 

[always when you dont need it]

ive spent the past few weeks of my life searching high and low for quotations. quotations for all sorts of stuff i need for my project(s). and since i have absolutely no idea which of the Big Pharma companies have set up local offshoots on our fair isle and which companies are being distributed by whom, it's been pretty much a wild goose chase. did i mention that the yellow pages are no help either? all they have is a measly 'chemicals' section. and that encompasses just about everything from industrial-strength pipe cleaner to commercial plastic. someone should really overhaul the yellow pages and make it something that people will really use. how can we ever mature into a proper scientific nation if the phone book lumps all the science-related and industrial companies lock stock barrel into a PKL 'Chemicals' heading?!!

it's really mind-boggling, the kinds of stuff you have to wade through on google before you find people that actually sell what you want. and let's not go into the whole process of *getting* quotations. chances are if the site has online shopping, you can forget about them replying to your request for a quotation. i've emailed and faxed hundreds of letters requesting for quotes, many sent on the home fax at mine own expense, and NONE come back. the response rate for faxes still stands at a phenomenal 0%. emails.. well i've had some success over the last couple of days. which brings me to my next point.

today i FINALLY settle all the quotations and purchase requisitions. this is a long and complicated process involving a lot of complicated data entry and repetition, cursing, swearing, followed by rapid mouse clicking, squinting at the screen, before calling somebody for help. i always thought well of SAP (the software company).. until now. today, i finally realise how evil, counter-intuitive and downright user-unfriendly enterprise software is. why can't anybody devise a proper purchase requisition system that people can actually use? not to mention the fact that the people who really need the stuff don't have the time to wade through the system and its goodness-knows how many levels of alerts and errors. they actually get other people to key it in for them - and sadly the other people don't always know the full details of the purchase (say - why this product is needed, why not the lowest quote, why there aren't 3 quotes, etc). thankfully im doing mine own, so if i don't know the answers to the a/m questions i only have myself to blame. not to mention all the trouble i went to to get competitive quotes for the same items - the 3 quotes rule.

so it's only AFTER i settle all the quotations and purchase requisitions (a process that took up virtually all of today) that another 2 - 3 quotes come streaming in by email. (one company was nice enough to offer me a sample of what i wanted - that's genuinely nice of them, considering that they aren't even based here, i was talking to the head office in Mumbai; the second says what i want only comes as part of a kit and they would like to call me with regards to the request; another's still being held up because the local distributor is awaiting pricing instructions from the head office in the states) i don't really know what to say..

timestamp: anonymous 14:21 0 comments

6.06.2004

 

[My Little Big Adventure]

ever since i started work, seems like all i ever do on weekends/offdays is go gallivanting all around our merry little island - a far cry from what i used to do. maybe it's a sign that i'm finally growing up. or that i just can't be bothered to just idle around at home - especially given the hours im working these days, though on second thought that's probably not surprising to those who know me [and my style of working!]. which incidentally leads me to the question that PP posed recently - what is it about [me] that makes me gravitate towards working in high-stress environments (or something like that).. but truth be told, i don't choose these places, they choose me! *bhb* nah, really, i think its coincidental, plus im kinda high-strung myself so when you put two and two together, the whole winds up being more than the sum of its parts.. anyway im trying to become more laid-back, to take things easily and as they come. by necessity, though, that also entails becoming more confident, which may not necessarily be what i want.

so today i had the practical of Public Transport 101 trying to get to, but mainly from, the PC Show at Expo. met a lot of people there as usual (hello!), most of whom were working part-time, and hence can land better deals on equipment ^^; (what are friends for, right.. =P ) but didn't really buy anything other than ink refills for my printer, since i'm not exactly leaving yet, and the prime rule of technology always applies - if you don't need it now, you can always pick up a newer, faster, better, cheaper model a few months down the road. i wasn't expecting any laptops at the show to meet my stringent (as always) future-proof criteria - fast Intel processor, 80GB HDD, 512MB RAM (must upgrade to 1GB), 128MB dedicated mobile graphics card, DVD-ROM/CDRW drive, etc - but there were! the prices were astronomical, of course, to match those specs. but im sure by the time i leave the price will normalise somewhat.

so my dad decided to impulse-buy a HDD/DVD recorder to replace the VCR for taping shows and stuff, and that wasn't exactly a good idea because the box was HUGE and from noon onwards the entire exhibition hall was a thick, viscous mass of people trying, with varying degrees of success, to shuffle in their intended direction of motion. boxes and tiny luggage trolleys (mode of transport of choice, helpfully provided by printer vendors to assuage people that their printers are portable via whatever public transport they choose to take) just get into the way of elbows, faces, shoulders and the like.. sorta like one of those "living experiments" that are the rage these days, on brownian motion. *jostle* *squeeze* sorry! excuse me! *shove* *squish*

if the hall itself was bad, the queues at the eating places were far worse. when i arrived at 1130, fresh out of bed and hungry, the queue at the Expo BK stretched just past the glass doors and took half an hour to hit the head of the queue. not to mention the fact that the service was slow (i dont blame them, mind, anybody doing a $5-an-hour job would be intimidated by the unending hordes of ravenous shoppers, straight out of some zombie B-movie) and i didn't get to have what i wanted because it was either sold out or "there was something wrong with the french fry machine". needless to say i was sorry i didn't have a full meal while i had the chance, because when we came out again at 1400 hoping to beat the lunch crowds, the queues were thrice as long as before. we hightailed it out of there are hopped on a bus to bedok food centre to eat (yes, opposite TJ.. and im sorry to say this but it does look rather run down from the main road). the japanese food stall there's pretty good, far better than yoshinoya. *stamp of approval* if you're keeping count, thats the warm-up exercise to the practical part of Public Transport 101.

on the way back from bedok, we passed something like a km-long tailback of cars all trying to turn into the Expo carpark. i don't know how many of them finally made it in (my guess is not much), but my dad wound up parking at Changi General Hospital, near Simei station. and yes he's as clueless about public transport as i am. =\ so he took a cab down to Expo. but taking a cab *out* of Expo necessitates a $2 surcharge. so we decided to take the train down to simei (insert tale of struggling to get a ticket deposit refund out of the single-use-ticket dispenser), and finding no shuttle bus from the MRT station, proceeded to take 38 to CGH. which was a horrific mistake, and 5 stops later, in some remote part of tampines, after asking directions from the 38 bus driver, passengers, a condo security guard and waiting at the opposite bus stop for bus 9, we eventually flagged down a cab, and - to our horror - sped down the very same road we had came, past Simei station for another 500m before we emerged at CGH. ^^; that's cutting a long story short, but if you add in struggling with a box half your size.. this almost ranks up there with the time i took the east/west train to kallang when i intended to take it to jurong east (sorry pris!)

in unrelated news, my 256MB thumbdrive mysteriously died on me in the commute between work and home - aka it was working fine when i took it out of the work computer, but it was dead by the time i plugged it in at home, leading to a lot of ranting and raving (well, mostly ranting). it was 6 months into its 2 yr warranty, and luckily both the local distributor and the taiwanese HQ were prompt and helpful with their email replies; managed to get it replaced with a spanking new one off-the-shelf after they determined that they couldn't coax it back to life again. that went on far more smoothly than expected, and im a happy bunny now.. ^^;

also finally decided on my gmail nick. you can now email me at floetry at gmail.com. probably won't integrate the new contact info into the layout of the site - that's a long story. it's not as though im uncomfortable with CSS and stuff (i'm not [uncomfortable]), it's just that im too much of a perfectionist that it's gonna take way too much effort and more time than i have on my hands to really revamp the thing. not to mention that many people don't want me to link to their private blogs. so if i've said it once, i'll say it again, im really sorry i don't link to anyone on this blog.. but if you go back deep enough in the archives i provided a post with the links. ^^;

wow that was a long post. i had a lot to say! anyway i totally adore the Shrek 2 OST now, the good songs on the OST are really good, though the bad ones are downright irritating (for one, i don't like all the Fairy Godmother songs). ranks up there with Baz Luhrmann's R+J OST.

Counting Crows - Accidentally in Love
from the Shrek 2 OST

---

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love

Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no

Come on, Come on
Move a little closer
Come on, Come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on
Settle down inside my love

Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once
Upon a time in love

We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love (x7)

Accidentally

I'm In Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
Accidentally (X 2)

Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her

Love ...I'm in love

---

sometimes the more you run away from something the more it just keeps coming back, whether you like it or not. just like (*sigh*) public transport. its not true that i don't take it at all. just not often enough to constitute an easy familiarity with the system, especially buses, since i no longer refer to the bus guide. heck, most of my friends drive whereever they wanna go, though when it comes to expo the car should either be left at home or parked somewhere really far away. whatever it is, ive decided that i need to lug the pocket mighty minds around with me when i go out, it's not just for drivers anymore.

(my sixth sense of navigation works a lot better when i have a map to recognise telltale landmarks and orientate...)

on radio now: Morcheeba's "What New York Couples Fight About". haven't heard that in a long while, it's just as good as the first time i heard it. respect. ^^; also cool: Nick Holder & Gemini - "No More Dating DJs". wicked tongue-in-cheek look at DJ culture..

timestamp: anonymous 13:37 0 comments

5.30.2004

 

[doing my bit for the nation]

just realised that i've spent a LOT in the past 48 hours. not exactly a spending spree, but not hitting the major sales either. bought a set of cambridge soundworks Slim Optical 2.1 speakers from the Creative warehouse sale at $50.. a real steal if you ask me. set it up a couple of hours ago and the sound totally *rocks*. can take analog input from my discman-radio and optical input from MD / extigy. then again, to quote YJ, anything is better than unpowered speakers. then: 0.2W x 2. now: 6W x 2 + 17W subwoofer. ^^; now joss stone and gilles peterson just completely blow me away! (literally!)

sometime later last night / this morning, decided that i would be using a lot of my IBM X21 during the attachment period - not using the laptop there, mind, but working at home - and that the original 128MB of RAM just wasn't enough for me to keep multiple apps running at the same time (which i am notorious for doing, even when on the phone). so off i went to sim lim and discovered, much to my horror, that the online price guide of $90 for a 128MB RAM chip was nowhere near the $120 i was quoted in real life. the shop people just laughed (well, nicely, if that's possible) and said that they have no idea where the hardwarezone prices come from. there ARE shops listed together with the price they give at hardwarezone but i was in a rush and didnt feel the necessity to prove my point, so $120 it was. at least my computer is multitasking much better now!

finally got myself a wrist rest.. hopefully that'll put an end to my fears of developing carpal tunnel. and for the umpteenth time, NO, i cannot "discuss the carpal tunnel [and its structure]". i am so dead when term starts. no time to even study, once i come back from work i need to complete some more work that i didnt finish / couldnt finish.. haiz.

also picked up yeow's CD, This Generation, at the Zircon Gov Pawnstarz gig yesterday for $15 (cheap!) at the merchandise counter. din feel the need to grab a ZGPS t-shirt with the warped crest and all, i just don't feel goth or punk enough to wear that. yet.

in unrelated news, the national fencing team did well in a regional FIE-related event (skimpy details in the newspaper, and i cant find any info online, honestly) .. women's foil and men's epee (woo hoo!) brought back the gold, beating japan and vietnam respectively, while men's sabre came in bronze. which is quizzical if you ask me, since i always figured that our sabre teams were better. *shrug*

looking good.. here's hoping it'll last. ^^;

timestamp: anonymous 13:57 0 comments

5.29.2004

 

[Don't smoke cigarettes / Don't take any drugs / Don't go out at night / Just ....]

whoa. the Tiramisu + Zircon Gov Pawnstarz (ZGPS) gig totally RAWKED!! Tiramisu was awesome. i distinctly remember saying "with a name like that how could they possibly be bad?" ^^; in any case they're a lot more rock than ZGPS is, in a very melodic-dancey and head-bangy kinda way. to quote calvin, heavy influences from U2 and Joy Division. they certainly have the talent, although their stage presence cannot compare to ZGPS (yet). Tiramisu are recording their debut album now, and that's definitely something to look forward to in the near future. (not to mention make my wallet another $20 lighter)

ZGPS live was even better than in the album, maybe it was the spontaneity or the sound system, i can't quite put my finger on it. their style can best be described as punk-electroclash.. (apologies to those i've tried to define their music style to previously) and when i found the same people headbanging to both the more-rock Tiramisu and the more-dance/electro ZGPS, it suddenly dawned on me that perhaps the reason why electroclash is more accessible (and therefore popular, though others may beg to differ) is because it combines elements of 80's pop, the dark undertones of goth (stereotypically anyway), the riffs of rock - in itself wildly popular, the attitude of punk and the beats of modern dance (mostly house i think), each of which already has an established fan base. If anybody needs to write a paper on electroclash, don't forget to acknowledge me ^^;

ZGPS' stage presence was undeniable.. and unmistakable. mostly because all 3 are seasoned performers in their own right, and it shows. the part where X'Ho and Sue-Sue Law exchanged dialogue in thai and french over a song (forgot which already) was inspired, and special guest MC Sleepwalker was riotous on stage. but the best bit was the audience interaction over tom neville's "just ****".. which as you may have guessed, is the title of the post. it's always wonderfully reassuring to hear 1) something you're familiar with and 2) something you LIKE at an alien venue surrounded by many people you don't know (although some were cute ^^; ).. that said, though, calvin's familiar with the tune and not me..

the only bummer was the fact that the venue was about 1/3 - 1/2 full, though i guess that's more due to capacity of the place (i estimate it as 400) than any fault on Tiramisu or ZGPS' part. It's still a subculture - just like those breakdancers in the underpass between citylink and the esplanade - but it's growing. And unfortunately, as much as I wish it wasn't so, punk-electroclash is still less accessible to your average joe than downtempo (such as The Observatory). even i must admit that i play downtempo on my cd player more. =
can't remember the last time i had so much fun. The Observatory's playing a late-night gig at the same place (esplanade theatre studio) in early july, 2 nights performance.. let me know if you wanna go quick. I'm worried the tix might sell out.

Tom Neville - chorus from Just ****

---

Don't smoke cigarettes
Don't take any drugs
Dont' go out at night
Just ****
(repeat)

---

whee!

timestamp: anonymous 21:25 0 comments

5.21.2004

 

[Yahoo! News - Thousands may have human form of mad cow disease]

breaking news on yahoo. this ranks among my worst fears.. that said, though, its nothing terribly surprising considering how long the cannibalism of farm animals in the name of economic gain has been going on; someone just decided to crunch the numbers. it's timely, though, because the public (as always) needs an attention-grabbing headline to remind them of serious threats to their health in yesterday's news.

timestamp: anonymous 16:52 0 comments

5.20.2004

 

[Zircon Gov Pawnstarz GIG!!!]

it's finally here.. the much-anticipated live gig. well, to be honest, i've missed the observatory's album-launch show at the Alliance Francaise (to my eternal regret) and zircon gov pawnstarz' album-launch show at zouk. sooooo.. $20 incl 1 drink, standing room only. Esplanade Theatre. Next Sat (29 May) 2100 - 2300 (but arrive >15 min early) im not going to miss them this time.. anybody who wants in, let me know ASAP. tix on sale now.

timestamp: anonymous 17:17 0 comments

5.15.2004

 

[ghost town]

This is cool: GHOST TOWN - Chernobyl Pictures .. a ride through the dead zone around Chernobyl. kinda creepy, but in a nuclear-winter sorta way. makes all the old Z for Zachariah fears come back again..

timestamp: anonymous 18:15 0 comments

 

[foot in mouth syndrome]

y_avatar (09:34 PM) :
eh? that's unpolitically correct you know..
y_avatar (09:34 PM) :
or should i say, politically incorrect..
y_avatar (09:34 PM) :
haha
y_avatar (09:34 PM) :
(oops)

timestamp: anonymous 14:41 0 comments

5.12.2004

 

[not for the easily offended]

was introduced to this site - b3ta Question of the Week archives.. (thanks jun!) it's drop dead funny. we are such angels compared to what these people do! but it's really not for the easily offended.

Rated R for strong language, adult situations and mischievous MALICIOUS intent..

and it's a total time waster. i've spent over a day just going thru the "Best" submissions to each question.. you've been warned.

PS if you find my post looks a little funny, its because im now using the "title" field in the new blogger. does anybody still know where to sign up for the gmail beta? or is it closed liao? took too long to think of a nick (still haven't thought of it yet)..

timestamp: anonymous 21:01 0 comments

5.08.2004

 

[priceless nugget of the day, pt 2]

... there are lots of reasons females might play the field, although we don't necessarily know the reasons in any given instance. Just in case you meet a girl on the prowl and you want to understand her motives, here's a checklist of possibilities:

• She has run out of sperm


• Her other lovers were sterile


• Her other lovers had lousy genes


• Her other lovers had incompatible genes


• Her other lovers were ugly


• She wants diversity in her children


• She wants you for your food


• She wants help raising her kids


• She wants to enter your sperm in a competition


• She wants to give herself or her eggs a selection of sperm to choose from


• She wants to confuse everyone about who's the father

- Dr Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation: The Definitive Guide to the Evolutionary Biology of Sex, Olivia Judson

timestamp: anonymous 16:42 0 comments

5.07.2004

 

[priceless nugget of the day]

You see, girls may say they want a kind, sensitive, devoted guy - that personality matters more than looks - but the truth is, in many species, females are body fascists. That's why as a rule it's the males that have ridiculously long tails or fancy headdresses - or eyes perched on the ends of long, stiff stalks.

- Dr Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation: The Definitive Guide to the Evolutionary Biology of Sex, Olivia Judson

timestamp: anonymous 17:09 0 comments

5.04.2004

 

[Total Lunar Eclipse]

hey theres gonna be a total lunar eclipse tonite, it more or less starts around 0352 but the total eclipse starts around 0430. the moon will set before the thing is over! insomniacs.. anybody reading this now.. stay up and watch the eclipse! ^ ^;

timestamp: anonymous 19:09 0 comments

5.02.2004

 

[cogito ergo sum]

i think, therefore i am. but i think too much. i read too much into trivial matters. i attach too much symbolic meaning to what others interpret as normal, not earth-shattering, events. and i don't ever get anything done. so if i think too much, does it mean that i am too "me" for my own good?

NB - for the life of me i can't tell if its cogito or cognito. both seem valid.. although i always remember the phrase as the former, while the latter aids comprehension. any idea which is the real deal?

Faithless ft Dido - Dub Be Good To Me

---

Here comes the music
hit maker from jamaica
Sweet like candy
Hit me now

Baby girl

Just be good to me
Just be good to me
Just be good to me
Just be good to me
Just be good to me
Just be good to me
Just be good to me
Just be good to me
Just be good to me

(Rap By Maxi Jazz)

Friends tell me I am crazy
That I'm wasting time with you
You'll never be mine
That's not the way i see it
'Cos I feel already fine
Whenever you're with me

People always talk about
Reputations
Well I don't care
about your other girls
Just be good to me
Friends are always telling me
That we're using
I dont care what you do with them
Just be good to me
I don't care what you do with them
Just be good to me
Just be good to me
Just be good to me

---

feeling retro... modern-retro. the original Dub Be Good to Me was by Beats International - Norman Cook @ Fatboy Slim & Lindy Layton - was #1 for 4 weeks in 1990 and spent 13 weeks on the charts. but i must say that the faithless ft Dido cover gives it a whole new lease of life.. which is the whole point of reinventing old songs. whipping out my verve remixed (vol 2), joss stone and lisa ono records. wo0!

in an unrelated note, i realise that i have spent a small fortune at hmv heeren recently, and it's mainly on local, if not regional, artistes. as Paul Zach recently remarked in his saturday music column, most of the best CDs of 2004 have been released already, and 2 of them are local acts: X'Ho's Zircon Gov Pawnstars & Leslie Low's the Observatory. wonderful stuff.. though i must add that i've been waiting for the commercial release of these albums with bated breath since late last year til NOW. still..

timestamp: anonymous 17:03 0 comments