6.16.2004

 

[*boing boing* (TM)']

' *biong biong* copyrighted by peiling (PP). no, that's not a typo.

i must've said this at some point over the last couple of posts: i feel like im on a rollercoaster. to cut a needlessly long, boring and pointless story short, every few days i discover something that i overlooked previously that threatens to nullify my entire project. nullify as in, renders it unworkable. and i'm always a hair's breadth away from disaster (that's 100 microns on average, if you're counting), bumming around on major low-moods for about a day or two til i stumble across some haphazard workaround. then everything's peachy. i don't know how much more disaster-turnaround scenarios i can take before my mind snaps, it's fast becoming a regular occurrence. that's not really very healthy.

i've also recently discovered how expensive air travel is. the advertised return fare on CX from Singapore (SIN) to London Heathrow (LHR), stopping over in Hong Kong (HKG), is SGD$1099. but the catch is i can't get reimbursed for the tix if i purchase a return ticket, for my 'to' trip anyway, so i need a one-way ticket. so i click through to Cathay's online website. the fare for the same flight is SGD$1953, and that's on economy restricted. 'full' economy (if there ever can be such a thing) is SGD$4685. interestingly enough that's more than half of first class - SGD$8819. ouch! i can only get reimbursed SGD$2000, so if i can't get economy restricted then i need to start dipping into savings. how on earth can a return ticket be less than half the price of a one way ticket AND still include a 2D/1N hotel stay in HK?? to save money i'll prob wind up taking a ship to the UK. or sealing myself up in a cargo box and FedExing myself over. then again, given the recent delivery fiasco i've been embroiled in, i might not end up there alive and kicking..

Dashboard Confessional - As Lovers Go
From the Shrek 2 OST

---

She said "i've gotta be honest,
You're wasting your time if you're fishing round here."
And i said "you must be mistaken,
Cause i'm not fooling...this feeling is real"
She said...she said "you gotta be crazy,
What do you take me for? Some kind of easy mark?
" No, you've got wits, you've got looks,
You've got passion, but I swear that you've got me all wrong."

All wrong.
All wrong.
But you got me...

I'll be true, i'll be useful...
I'll be cavalier...i'll be yours my dear.
And i'll belong to you...
If you'll just let me through.
This is easy as lovers go,
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
And this is wonderful as loving goes,
This is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?

And i said "i've gotta be honest
I've been waiting for you all my life."
For so long i thought i was asylum bound,
But just seeing you makes me think twice.
And being with you here makes me sane,
I fear i'll go crazy if you leave my side.
You've got wits...you've got looks,
You've got passion but are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?

Tonight.
Tonight.
But you've got me...

I'll be true, i'll be useful...
I'll be cavalier...i'll be yours my dear.
And i'll belong to you...
If you'll just let me through.
This is easy as lovers go,
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
And this is wonderful as loving goes,
This is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?
This is easy as lovers go,
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
And this is wonderful as loving goes,
This is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?

---

tired. just so tired of everything. maybe im just not meant to be confident. whatever i've built up over the weeks (it's a recent phenomenon, possibly related to the civilian conversion course) just breaks and shatters when given the slightest push.

inexplicably, i also feel really bad now for being such a rotten friend. to be honest, nothing in particular has triggered this, so it's not a guilty conscience: rather a dawning realisation that im not doing enough for my friends. whenever there's a crisis, or what's really eating them, i just don't know. maybe it's because im too caught up in my own stuff to pay any attention. i just don't feel like a true friend, and that makes me feel horrible. i'm so very sorry.

timestamp: anonymous 13:43 0 comments