4.12.2004

 

[losing myself]

apologies to everybody who's left messages, net connection has been down for over a week or so, and im still not clear whether it's the main cable line at fault or whether it's my network interface card. probably a bit of both.. anyway ill get back to you guys soon, once i feel a bit more social again ^ ^;

civilian conversion course isnt going too well - too many paradoxes. too much time on my hands, yet too little time to do what i want, no, need to do.

realised that im nowhere nearer to being ready for uni than i was 2 1/2 years ago. even though i've grown, i've actually regressed in terms of mental and emotional maturity. repeating the same mistakes ad nauseum. despite my best efforts, i just can't be social. i just don't fit in. i now know why i make few friends; it's simply much easier to uproot and move on. i don't particularly feel tied down to any one place. and i feel so alone.

can't sleep, for reasons unknown to me. the bed is uncomfortable, the pillow too thin, and the blanket oppressive. i drift through the day in a semi-conscious state, sinking only when my eyes can hold no longer. it's a horrible feeling.

seeking solace in anime. strongly recommended: Boys Be - very bittersweet.

Liang Jing Ru (Fish Leong) - 听不到 (Ting Bu Dao)

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听不到
曲：阿信 | 词：阿信

夜 黑夜 寂寞的夜里
气生气 对自己生气
软弱的电话 又打给你
想听你 那边的空气
有什么精采的话题
你还是温柔 给我婉转的距离

#我的声音在笑 泪在飙
电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那么大
为何我要忘记你 无处逃
我的声音在笑 泪在飙
电话那头的你可知道
世界若是 那么小
为何我的真心 你听不到

会很会伪装我自己 你 不该背我的秘密
沉重都给我 微笑 给你奔 狂奔 空旷的感情
走 暴走 暴走的伤心 透明的叹息 最后
还是 我的秘密

Chorus#

听不到听不到我的执着 扑通扑通一直在跳
直到你有一天能够明了 我做得到 我做得到

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you'll need to install the chinese lang pack if you see gibberish on your screen.. recently picked up the liang jing ru compilation cd and the observatory's Time of Rebirth. both strongly recommended.

timestamp: anonymous 20:15 0 comments