4.29.2004

 

[sylvia]

just caught the movie Sylvia about the eponymous poet Sylvia Plath (she of The Bell Jar fame, and poet of choice for many angsty intelligent girls). interestingly enough the film opens in cam where she, on a fulbright scholarship (!!!) meets ted hughes, and then traces her life through initial euphoria to writer's block to severe depression to failed marraige to her eventual suicide.

it doesn't really offer any insight into her (or ted hughes') literary genius - the main criticism levelled at it by 8 days - but there are tantalising glimpses of how they just *clicked*, and at such a high level.. if not for the subtitles i wouldn't have been able to make out some of the english words, it was that fast. to paraphrase from the show, poets are like shamans.. but they're really like postdocs researching the english language. i can't even begin to elaborate what the implications of this are, because i've seen people with such intensity and passion working in science, and this is just the literary equivalent. *epiphany* there's really no dichotomy between the arts and the sciences.. (sudden revelation into the subject du jour - dont ask me, this is the topic in vogue now)

anyway, the other main reason why it's a good movie is because it illustrates the fragility of a relationship between two highly intelligent individuals working in the same field. although the film is called Sylvia, it's really about the relationship between her and ted hughes - the intellectual connection, the intense competition, the romantic love, the feelings of hurt and betrayal. i've never seen it captured so beautifully - gweneth paltrow is wonderful as sylvia plath - or so poetically. and the competition can be so draining: on one hand you want the other party to suceed, yet your own career is languishing. they're both really talented - that makes the competition all the more intense. it's really very much a love/hate relationship.

i also never really factored how kids can shelve their mothers' careers. its more of a sideline in the film, her kids, but there was this one scene where she was trying to write and her babies were just bawling away in the cot next to her table.. you know you always instinctively *know* that it's hard to balance work and kids, but this was quite a graphic (and literal) depiction.

that said, it's NOT a mother's day movie (it ends with a suicide, for crying out loud), DON'T bring your mothers to see this.

timestamp: anonymous 14:58 0 comments

4.27.2004

 

[Derelict London]

am trying to blog more by installing the BlogThis! extension into my Mozilla Firefox browser.. so its just a matter of right clicking and i can blog straightaway.

anyway - stumbled across the Derelict London site.. admittedly its not as polished as another photo-odyssey through the disused buildings of the american northeast.. but i forgot the URL for the latter. heh. wait wait i found it. New England Ruins.. its absolutely stunning. and bleak, depending on your point of view..

timestamp: anonymous 04:33 0 comments

4.17.2004

 

[ ! ]

from the Cambridge University Modern Penthalon Club page:

Modern Pentathlon is derived from Napoleonic France, when the French armies quested to create the perfect soldier. It is comprised of ridng, running, swimming, shooting and fencing - those sports in which the French gentleman soldier was supposed to be proficient at.

Nowadays, all are encouraged to participate in the Modern Pentathlon, for, as Baron Pierre de Coubertain (founder of the Modern Olympic Games) put it, it "determines the most complete athlete".

OMG.

decisions, decisions...

timestamp: anonymous 20:14 0 comments

 

[ (tenuous) new direction ]

sometimes im so moody i think i have pms. but that cant really be true, since it doesn't come in 28 day cycles (give or take a bit, you know i haven't even hit physio yet). anyway, after much hermit-like deliberation, i have finally emerged with the faintest impression of what to do with myself! *flare of trumpets* well it's more of a vague "i think we should go thataway" hunch than a detailed map, but it's a start.

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And, as the Cock crew, those who stood before
The Tavern shouted - "Open then the Door!"
You know how little while we have to stay,
And, once departed, may return no more.

Omar Khayyam
[Rubaiyat, III, trans. by Edward Fitzgerald (1st ed.)]

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PS anybody who knows how to fiddle with cable modems, pls help me out. my com is acting screwy and i suspect it's got something to do with my NIC. just when i was about to plonk in front of my com 24/7... *mutter*

timestamp: anonymous 17:59 0 comments

4.15.2004

 

[offline]

after one week of *not* being at home, the dreaded on/off connection is back again. DAMMIT! strongly suspect it's my NIC. no time to figure out whats wrong now, have more pressing matters at hand. goodness knows what i have to do to fix it. and it always happens just before im about to clear leave and plonk in front of my computer for extended periods. perfect timing, as always..

timestamp: anonymous 17:43 0 comments

4.12.2004

 

[losing myself]

apologies to everybody who's left messages, net connection has been down for over a week or so, and im still not clear whether it's the main cable line at fault or whether it's my network interface card. probably a bit of both.. anyway ill get back to you guys soon, once i feel a bit more social again ^ ^;

civilian conversion course isnt going too well - too many paradoxes. too much time on my hands, yet too little time to do what i want, no, need to do.

realised that im nowhere nearer to being ready for uni than i was 2 1/2 years ago. even though i've grown, i've actually regressed in terms of mental and emotional maturity. repeating the same mistakes ad nauseum. despite my best efforts, i just can't be social. i just don't fit in. i now know why i make few friends; it's simply much easier to uproot and move on. i don't particularly feel tied down to any one place. and i feel so alone.

can't sleep, for reasons unknown to me. the bed is uncomfortable, the pillow too thin, and the blanket oppressive. i drift through the day in a semi-conscious state, sinking only when my eyes can hold no longer. it's a horrible feeling.

seeking solace in anime. strongly recommended: Boys Be - very bittersweet.

Liang Jing Ru (Fish Leong) - 听不到 (Ting Bu Dao)

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听不到
曲：阿信 | 词：阿信

夜 黑夜 寂寞的夜里
气生气 对自己生气
软弱的电话 又打给你
想听你 那边的空气
有什么精采的话题
你还是温柔 给我婉转的距离

#我的声音在笑 泪在飙
电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那么大
为何我要忘记你 无处逃
我的声音在笑 泪在飙
电话那头的你可知道
世界若是 那么小
为何我的真心 你听不到

会很会伪装我自己 你 不该背我的秘密
沉重都给我 微笑 给你奔 狂奔 空旷的感情
走 暴走 暴走的伤心 透明的叹息 最后
还是 我的秘密

Chorus#

听不到听不到我的执着 扑通扑通一直在跳
直到你有一天能够明了 我做得到 我做得到

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you'll need to install the chinese lang pack if you see gibberish on your screen.. recently picked up the liang jing ru compilation cd and the observatory's Time of Rebirth. both strongly recommended.

timestamp: anonymous 20:15 0 comments