3.05.2003

 

there i go again - just idled another day away. pretty soon ill be heading back to camp to start unit induction (shudder) and i still havent done anything. run? nope. read? nope. pack room? nope. just moped, idly surfed, and played the day away. i dont quite know what im doing with my life - sometimes its so much better being in school where there are at least some semblance of goals, both long and short term, you can aspire to, plenty of pleasant diversions and above all the freedom to do most anything you want to. somehow the grass always seems greener on the other side, tho i don recall having ever thot this way about ns. anyway what have i done? ive just moped again.

deleted a few paras worth of stuff cos it din come out right. strangely i always get the inspiration and e inclination to blog whenever im away from e com. havent got e authorisation to bring my palm into camp yet, tho im not quite sure whether ill take to blogging remotely on my palm - tried it once and its kinda weird putting a timestamp on the thing (yes indeedy theres a palm shortcut for that) and then having to post it only at e end of e day. or week.. tho im hoping its day rather than week.

starting to shrug off the downs already - cant afford to have it while going thru UIP. by right my job scope means that i shouldnt be going thru it, cos the OO is quite definitely needed (or so im led to believe) and theres only me right now, my upperstudy having disrupted to study already. but my boss says he'd like me to attend the lessons (im presuming this means go thru UIP in no uncertain terms) but he'll pull me back to the office as and when im needed to do stuff. its another one of those gray areas that life just seems to be full of. heck, tmr ill be working on a debrief for the recently-concluded 2 wk exercise again, despite it being the 1st day of UIP. cant complain - that beats running around. =|

evanescence ft paul mc coy - bring me to life
(from the Daredevil OST)

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how can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where i've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home wake me up inside
wake me up inside
call my name and save me from the dark
bid my blood to run
before i come undone
save me from the nothing i've become

now that i know what i'm without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

wake me up inside
wake me up inside
call my name and save me from the dark
bid my blood to run
before i come undone
save me from the nothing i've become
bring me to life

frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead

all this time i can't believe i couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
i've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life

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incidentally - \Ev`a*nes"cence\, n. The act or state of vanishing away; disappearance; as, the evanescence of vapor, of a dream, of earthly plants or hopes. interesting..

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