7.20.2002

 

not much time this weekend, as ive already previously commented in last week's posts... really sorry (i should stop saying that, its already beginning to irritate me) everyone cos im soooooooooo zonked/zombiefied - i think its about 3 wks of little-to-no-sleep and im really drained. not feeling particularly talkative/sociable, ull have to bear with me a little longer. 2 wks n then ill have more time to rest on weekdays (or so i think....) and hopefully ill be more like the person i used to be! gee...

was speaking about feeling so much older. read a popular advert in the papers about all these "the complete idiots guide to....... for teens" books going for a song (well not quite- still about $14..) and im like thinking, wow, i wouldve gone out n bought those books like a year or 2 ago if they were cheap then... but now its like dawning on me (again, dawning conveys the idea that i *just* began to realise, but thats not true- ive been pondering about this for almost a mth already) that im gonna make the transition to a twentysomething soon and what the @$#% am i doing with my life? read quarterlife crisis this mar (am amazed how i found the time to do that) (and actually on hindsight i shouldve just borrowed the book, it was like a result of surveying 10s of 1000s of twentysomethings about the kind of out-of-college-and-fresh-into-the-real-world of problems they were facing... i think thats the last nonsense book i bought. good little angelic me... been saving money buy avoiding my traditional book-buying splurges and borrowing books religiously instead..) and now - faced with the prospect of uni in (sigh) 2 yrs time - am realising that i noe nuts about the real world. am trying to borrow personal finance for dummies and some teach yourself personal finance book cos i realised i cant tell e diff between a savings and a current account (is there even a difference?) and i gotta start opening a bank account. crap... i feel like im growing up before my time's due.. partly due to the nature of my work (during the week) too. i kno what it means to just wanna stay young and childlike (not childish...... that i can maintain without anybody's help ^_^ ) forever. how i wish i was back in jc.... yr 1, when things were going so smoothly. not that im having immense problems now or anything, mind... i just feel that theres so much out there to learn and do, and back then, just 1-2 yrs ago these concerns never crossed my mind.

there certainly are perks to growing up: transiting to ever bigger n complicated n expensive toys, dealing with more income (now up to $712.something something wef this month ^_^ ... not a lot but okay enough for me to save n donate at the same time).. got this thing from the nus flyers about coms at a discount for students - all those sleek new macs (imacs and powerbooks and ibooks if i remember correctly) and even pdas... wow.

i guess, as with most things, this is just a mixed-feeling thing and im just voicing out, just for the fun of voicing it out. im not sure if any of u out there reading this is going thru this now, or, as i deeply suspect, most of u already have gone thru this - my mental age always lagging anywhere between 2-5 yrs behind my peers, i mean like hey i was still playing with robots last dec... and i will rummage in my toy chest again when i get the time ^_^ - but the main point is, as with quarterlife crisis, the idea that ure not facing this problem alone. at least thats something i got out of the book!

timestamp: anonymous 08:17 0 comments