12.28.2003

 

[e last broadcast]

fri was the last ever instalment of x'ho's groovisions show on 99.5. it's e second time his shows have been axed.. passion 99.5 is closing for good on tue 30th dec. why? is the local music scene so dead?

its still downright difficult to find local albums. ive been searching for 3 for eons now - ger's on my own, zircon gov pawnstarz' Follywood and e Observatory's Time of Rebirth.. only TODAY, NOW, do i finally get my paws on the first (ger's on my own). hmv simply doesn't carry a wide selection of local music, and neither do all the small shops. it's just not commercially viable. my heart and spirit still lie with tower for daring to stock them.

feeling extremely disaffected now - there's just nothing to sustain my interest, nothing to look forward to, no challenge to work towards. not hurt nor injured. spent. spent, empty, goal-less. after a lifetime of exams (not that im going to see the end of exams for me anytime soon.. it's just a temporary respite) things are just so strange when you no longer have fixed, discernable goals and aims. i've lost my guiding light, and i need to find it again.

Doves - e Last Broadcast

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I was thinking about what you said
I was thinking about shame
The funny thing how you said
Cause it's better not to stay
Sure enough if you feel nothing
You're better off this way
Gets to the point where you can't breathe
It's the last word
I can see it standing

So here we are
At the last broadcast
Here we are
Our last broadcast

Sun on faces made us feel alive
The colours of the sky
Southern trees, made us enemies
Who knows the reason why?
You can't escape yourself
You can't just fall away
It comes to the point when you feel nothing
This is the last time
Cause I can see it in your eyes

So here we are
At the last broadcast
Here we are
Our last broadcast

This is
The last broadcast
Here we are
Our last broadcast

---

special doublebill
dubstar - stars

---

Is it asking too much to be given time
to know these songs and to sing them
Is it asking too much of my vacant smile
and my laugh and lies that bring them

But as the stars are going out
and this stage is full of nothing
and the friends have all but gone
for my life my god I'm singing

We'll take our hearts outside
Leave our lives behind
I'll watch the stars go out

Is it asking too much of my favorite friends
to take these songs for real
Is it asking too much of my partner's hands
to take these songs real

Is it asking too much
Is it asking too much...

timestamp: anonymous 11:42 0 comments

12.24.2003

 

[peace, love and joy]

after another year of waiting with bated breath, it's christmas all over again!

don't know why but i feel especially christmas-sy this year, been making gifts left right centre.. cute gifts, meaning ugly but (hopefully) endearing. (it also means im broke...) it's kind of like the baby blues christmas strip - the one where they realise, on xmas eve, that they forgot to post xmas cards. this year i didnt forget - i was just plain broke. not to mention lazy, i could have, but i had other things to do. honest!

and it's kind of strange that i feel this christmas-sy. it hasn't exactly been a great year for the world in general, what with sars, the war in iraq, and now, BSE in the states as well. on xmas eve, of all days.. it's not easy for me to say this so i don't say it in person, but i might as well say it here, i have a nasty feeling (nv)CJD ['human' mad cow disease] will claim me cos ive eaten too much beef when it was susceptible, where it was susceptible. i din know canada had a case in may (think it was the height of sars season then, could have been easily overlooked) and goodness knows how much canadian beef ive consumed.

given the kinds of things we do in modern agriculture its really not all that surprising that these weird diseases crop up to haunt us. i mean, forced cannibalism? anyway it leads in nicely to this link i recieved through email and am too lazy to forward: The Meatrix.. no, it's not that parody with kung-fu fighting cows.

that sounded quite daft didnt it?

can't help it. been thinking too much about passing on, and strangely enough im not feeling morbid or anything. you couldn't tell - im really happy and at peace with myself, everything.. no, it's mainly due to what ive been reading and seeing - i must admit i have a very lay response to return of the king (don't kill me!!!), by which i mean i think about it in terms of war, sacrifice, duty, etc. it's more of a broader perspective of war - how it affects you and the people around you, the people you love and so on - than the very psychologically introspective black hawk down, which tended to focus on the individual [combatant's] response to war. plus, i recieved mitch albom's the five people you meet in heaven for xmas and no prizes for guessing what that's about. i can only hope that ive touched peoples' lives in such ways.. it also brings the whole butterfly-effect thing into perspective by showing how seemingly small, random misdemeanours (e.g. dropping bottles off an overpass) can drastically affect peoples' lives.

but no, im still really cheery and stuff. not much in terms of presents this year, but plenty in terms of goodwill from the people who matter, and that's all i could ask for. (my lists are inevitably getting shorter and shorter, and no, theyre not increasing in monetary value either..) i dunno why i blogged so much about mortality. it doesnt really fit with the holiday.. but thats what you get when you blog stream-of-consciousness. no point editing. so much for the warm and fuzzy post.

merry xmas to you and your family, wherever you are. may we all have a better year to come. =>

PS. im currently raving over Tiny Mix Tapes. it's a really cool site, though i havent heard of 80% of the songs they feature..

PPS. i really really like this britney xmas song i heard on the radio. it's not cheesy like some of her other recent ... efforts (for want of a better word). it's this song... calista flockhart's cover of "santa baby" and michael buble's cover of "let it snow" that's stuck in my head this holiday season. let it snow let it snow let it snow!!

Britney Spears - My Only Wish (This Year)

---

Oh yeah yeah...
Last night I took a walk in the snow,
Couples holdin hands, places to go,
Seems like everyone but me is in love
Santa can you hear me?
I signed my letter that I sealed with kiss,
I sent it off, it just said this:
"I know exactly what I want this year"
Santa can you hear me?
I want my baby, baby
I want someone to love me, someone to hold,
Maybe Maybe,
He'll be all my own in a big red bow
Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing,
Tell me my true love is here
He's all I want, just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here
Santa that's my only wish this year

Yeahh...
Christmas Eve, I just can't sleep
Would I be wrong for takin a peek
Cuz I heard that you're comin to town
Santa can you hear me?
I really hope that you're on your way
With something special for me in your sleigh
Oh please make my wish come true,
Santa can you hear me?
I want my baby, baby
I want someone to love me, someone to hold
Baby, baby, baby
We'll be all alone under the mistletoe
Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year,
All I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is here
He's all I want, just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here
Santa that's my only wish this year

I hope my letter reaches you in time, (oh yeah)
Bring me love I can call all mine (oh yeah)
Cuz I have been so good this year, (oh oh)
Can't be alone under the mistletoe,
He's all I want in a big red bow

Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want, just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here,
Santa that's my only wish this year
Ahh ahh ahh
Oh Santa, can you hear me...?
Oh Santa, well he's all I want
Just for me, underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here,
Santa that's my only wish this year
Santa that's my only wish this year

---

merry xmas. =)

timestamp: anonymous 18:06 0 comments