8.24.2003

 

[pawnstarz]

it is not by chance that i obsess about music - whatever catches my fancy - and the name x'ho keeps cropping up. he is by no means the only one keeping it real, who isnt afraid to sacrifice a little material wealth to live his dreams, but the most identifiable. you cant really argue very much about how interesting a heavily-tattooed, ex-mohawk-sporting dj is in our still-cloistered society. but this time sheer coincidence has made him the subject of my post at a time when his new band pawnstarz, or zircon gov. pawnstarz, in its full and unabridged glory, just made the cover story of yesterday's ST Life!.

i happened to be shopping at HMV earlier on in the week where i came across x'ho's second(?) and most recent book, Attack of the SM Space Encroachers in the magazines section right next to my beloved Muzik. and one copy was open, so i flipped through. and it struck me as being some sort of op-ed social commentary in bite-sized nuggets. in other words, a blog, in the real vernacular of the heartlands, hokkien and all, in print. but something deep and idealistic in me reacted against the idea of buying somebody else's blog, and i passed the book on for Bjork's Greatest Hits, The Flaming Lips' Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots and the latest copy of Muzik.

which leads me in nicely into the age-old dilemma of what tom friedman calls 'glocalisation' (converted from the americanized spelling).. the challenge of retaining one's own cultural roots, embodied by olive trees, in the face of globalisation and the things it brings about, represented (quite aptly, too) by a lexus. so its about the lexus vs the olive tree - and i wonder if i am selling out by paying good money to support, in turn, an established international artist (who somehow still cuts it as alternative), an upstart but critically-acclaimed american band who embrace japanese culture , and a pan-european publishing conglomerate, instead of a struggling local musician whose opinion and taste i have the utmost respect for (even if he goes overboard on the Chicks on Speed.. a little overrated in my opinion).

that was on wed night. the very next day, i was shocked to hear that passion 99.5 was going to be pulled off the air by Dec because the National Arts Council decided it wasnt cost effective. well, not just the arts station, but also the arts magazine. a magazine is a magazine, but a station! its been around for 6 years - the entire duration ive actually been addicted to radio - the station that champions local music and arts events - where i get my nightly jazz fix (no doubt heavily influenced by gilles peterson) - which took x'ho under its wing and let him present groovevisions after hip parade got canned by perfect 10 - its a much more vibrant, living, breathing entity than any magazine. and its something id gladly pay taxes to support.

come friday morning, newsradio 938 had a segment where people called in with their views about the imminent closure of passion 99.5, and i was quite peeved at the people who obviously hadnt heard about the station and didnt quite give a damn about it but who still called up voicing their very general support for the arts. if theres anything i cant stand its pretension, and i really begin to wonder how many people DID listen to passion 99.5 in the first place.

as carrie chong said about the 'underground' St Johns' Powerhouse rave party - "you can't say that in singapore!! nothing is underground except for.. the mrt!" i dont expect pirate radio to crop up, catering to the 99.5 niche - even though some aspects of the listenership undoubtably fit the demographic who would try - given the furore over the indonesian pirate radio stations who literally broadcasted offshore, via ship. (come to think of it i dont really know what happened, i only know it existed..)

it's a very long ramble, i know, but the basic point im trying to get at is if i can pass up x'ho's book for imported music (no matter how alternative or counterculture it is), how can passion 99.5 survive? and how can anything other than fine art - for which there will always be an established niche, whether its among the noveau riche or those with old money - ever survive (not flourish, mind, SURVIVE..) here, where pragmatism reigns supreme over everything else?


Tanya Chua - Wu2 Di3 Dong4

---

---

sometimes i think i think too much. and i begin to see the inherent simplicity and truth in zen philosophy (or what i understand by the loose usage of the term) and about learning organisations.. how the harder you push the more likely youre not going to get there. how you have to be not looking for something, but ready for it all the same, for it to drop into your lap.

timestamp: anonymous 16:31 0 comments

8.17.2003

 

[lost]

i have recently rediscovered the thrills of just letting everything go and succumbing to mindless hedonism. in short: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 (THPS3) .. at a playstation near you.

Motorhead - Ace of Spades (from THPS3 OST)

---

If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man
You win some, lose some, it's all the same to me
The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say
I don't share your greed, the only card I need is
The Ace Of Spades
The Ace Of Spades

Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil,
Going with the flow, it's all a game to me,
Seven or Eleven, snake eyes watching you,
Double up or quit, double stake or split,
The Ace Of Spades
The Ace Of spades

You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools,
But that's the way I like it baby,
I don't wanna live forever,
And don't forget the joker!

Pushing up the ante, I know you've got to see me,
Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again,
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die,
The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be,
The Ace Of Spades

---

other than that, im hopelessly lost.

timestamp: anonymous 14:31 0 comments

8.05.2003

 

[out of the loop]

i always pride myself on being connected - wired - in the know. come september 11, i heard the news off the radio, while preparing for prelims, then promptly went to switch on CNN and CNA on tv. but today, im totally clueless about the jakarta bombings.

been in a holiday mood for most of the day. pep talk in the morning from my boss (at around the time of the blast, come to think of it.. we switched the office radio off for that..), then settling some last minute admin before going for a national education trip lasting the entire afternoon - the [racial] harmony trail. quite interesting actually, visited labrador park, the silat rd gurdawara (Sikh temple), jame rd mosque and the ura gallery (where they display the masterplans for development.. last one was in 2001 and let me tell you its quite a shock seeing how big tekong is supposed to be, or seeing residential development on tekong (what, bmtc?!) or even *contemplating* joining tekong and ubin to the mainland via a road..) then popping over to funan to grab a screen protector for my palm (which is beginning to get scratches due to increasingly frequent usage).

in short, things were looking good, and for once i seemed to be on the verge of integrating a PDA into my life, something ive been trying unsuccessfully to do since march. but this bombing kinda snaps me out of this dreamy state and back into the murky uncertainties and threats that lurk in every corner of the real world.

basically this just means trouble with a capital T.. back to increased vigilance again. theres a human limit to how long you can function on heightened alertness for. for starters adrenaline only has a short-acting effect (again, dont ask me to substantiate, im padding away here) simply because the body cannot afford to keep up the energy-consuming fight or flight reflex. um, something like that (ive lost that much since i came in). of course theres something to be said about being vigilant all the time, but its just not humanly possible. so now its not just SARS we have to watch out for but terrorism too.

somehow the bali bombing didnt hit home so hard cos no countrymen/women were affected. this time its different. this sort of sounds like a cheesy storyline off "on the frontlines", that ch U drama on terrorism.. which they had to write an editorial about in life. good grief. but i digress. ill be totally tied up with all the measures i anticipate we'll be putting into place.. if my normal work isnt bad enough.

i do suspect that the few people out there still playing C&C: Generals will soon stop, not only because the Warcraft III expansion set The Frozen Throne is out, but also because it's no longer politically correct to wield suicide-bombing terrorists and car bombs as a GLA commander in Generals. what troubled times we live in..

The Rolling Stones - Sympathy for the Devil (Remix)

---

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith
And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a general's rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
I shouted out,
"Who killed the Kennedys?"
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached Bombay

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well - learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!

Tell me baby, what's my name
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name
Tell me baby, what's my name
I tell you one time, you're to blame
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who

Oh, yeah
What's me name
Tell me, baby, what's my name
Tell me, sweetie, what's my name
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

---

i think i missed my original point about being disjointed somewhere along the way. but part of the reason why im so unsettled is cos i din hear about it til my immediate superior called me up this evening after i got home. imagine - from 1100 all the way to 2000 i was blissfully unawares! sigh.

timestamp: anonymous 15:59 0 comments

8.04.2003

 

[fm dreamz]

given how tired i [always!] am, its surprising that my brain can still find the time to dream nowadays. and strangely enough there's a recurring motif; ive dreamt of it at least twice that i can remember - well you know how it is, you always dream much more than you can remember.

anyway it involves this pile on a low table to the left of the table in my room.. i keep dreaming that theres this huge pile of stuff on it and im trying to clear it and somewhere at the bottom i find a pad of blue rgs foolscap (is it even blue coloured?) and im really puzzled as to why its there (in the dream). and i ostensibly set off to write a letter on it.. but that's my conscious conjecture of what i do next. in truth that very spot is taken up by my audio equipment.. including my beloved radio-discman which forms the centre of entertainment in my room. which incidentally is gradually playing second fiddle to my 5.1 speakers and portable radio-stereo in the study..

but i digress. i have absolutely no idea why this keeps coming back.. should go off and read some Freud or something.

Beth Orton - Paris Train

---

Now you're sitting on a Paris train
Laughin' at your own jokes again
Sun splits the trees into beautiful broken light
Never cry more tears than you could hold in your hands
When all the world's airbrushed
It's a sacred bond of trust

Sometimes
Sometimes
I see right through the scenery
The first place that's on my mind
The last place I find each time

Sometimes
I swim beyond the scenery
The last place that's on my mind
The first place I find each time

Now I'm sitting on a Paris train
Molten ash falls like rain
Fire burns the trees
It's a beautiful fatality
I love the way you stand your ground
Sea moves as mercury
To break its perfect skin
To dare to die from within

Sometimes
Sometimes
I see much more than's good for me
The first thing that's on my mind
The last place I look each time

Sometimes
I slip inside imagery
And the last thing that's on my mind's
The first thing I'll do each time
Each time
Each time

Stars racing to burn out
Just stars racing to burn out
A storm beginning to break
Trees standing black against the sky
This was inevitable
This was inevitable

Sometimes
Sometimes
We can see beyond our history
The last place you hope to find
The one that's been there all the time

Sometimes
Sometimes
We can swim beyond the scenery
The first place that's on your mind
The first place you'd find each time
Each time
Each time
Each time
Each time

Stars racing to burn out
The storm beginning to break
This was inevitable
This was inevitable
Inevitable

---

timestamp: anonymous 13:15 0 comments

8.02.2003

 

[dem tings]

there's really been nothing remotely worth blogging about these past few weeks - but mingy sums up my emotions, correct as of now, best -

whatever Music blasting through the headphones. I'm still the same. Loud music never affects my sleep. I do not know. I feel that its really like back to my JC days. The tired and busy. No matter how much I change, i'm still the old me. Its just so easy to revert back. But its ok to be.

there comes a point when you don't really know what you're doing with your life - no aims, no objectives, no things to look forward to, just aimless hedonism. if it doesnt land me in trouble with my boss(es) it sure will land me in hot soup by this time next year if i cant snap out of it - the dreaded extended-holiday attitude spilling over into uni (horrors!)

some very rational part of me says dont sweat the small stuff. the human brain has an uncanny ability to focus all your worrying (read: time and energy) on whatever seems like it's so earth-shattering it'll mar the rest of your life if you dont do it right - stuff like the PSLE, Os, common test, prelims, As.. but on hindsight they really arent that impt. where you get your degree from isnt as important as the process; what techniques you learn in the lab arent as important as the ideas, the grounding and the spirited defence of your ideas to your peers since techniques come and go. try as i may i cant shake it off. maybe this has to do with our wonderful education system? but then that would just be shifting the blame. sometimes i wonder if the new straight-through (secondary to jc direct, bypassing Os) system works out better for everybody in general. (dont expect me to substantiate this, though. havent thought enuf about it)

Grand Theft Auto 3 OST (Head Radio) - If You Dont Change

---

Forgive me, but I didn't do anything wrong.
So sue me, if you think the teacher had the life.
Forget me, if you don't think your friend is your enemy.
Because it's always been your innocence.

You sit, you shy, you withstood it.
You censor your life for your benefit.
But you lose all the taste.
And you sit there and waste.
Your day, your month, your year.

Nothing stays, they pass you by.
If you don't change, If you don't change.

Tell me, will you always be the same.
Oh maybe, kick yourself and play the game.
You ask me, what it is youre doing wrong.
You hesitate, you stand there and you should know.

(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)

---

now listening to reggae - Chris Goldfinger on [BBC] Radio 1. it's all about dem tings...

timestamp: anonymous 15:24 0 comments